An Unwelcome Visitor

The watch for AF is officially over – she arrived today, almost the latest I could have possibly started and not be able to start cycling next week.  Which is exactly what I expected, because why would something go smoothly for me at this point? 

I’m trying to be optimistic, and believe that this is the universe telling me that I needed another month to get myself back togethert.  I still haven’t been able to get past the first 30 seconds of my Visualizing Pregnancy meditation, so maybe there really is something to that.  Maybe if I repeat it often enough, I will believe it.  

On the bright side, I’m going to Puerto Rico tomorrow!  Within days of my miscarriage, I started thinking about getting away by myself, somewhere tropical. I wanted my trip to be somewhere I could get another stamp on my passport, somewhere I could fly to without changing planes, and somewhere with a beach and staff at the beach who would cater to my every whim.  Oh, and it had to be reasonably priced. 

I spent hours surfing the web, looking a last minute deal that fit the bill.  And I finally found a package deal to Puerto Rico that fit all my criteria except getting me a new stamp in my passport.  But the flights are timed so that I get almost all day on the beach (despite travel time) on Saturday and Monday, and there’s the culture of Old San Juan if I decide I’ve had enough of the beach, so this seemed like the best choice. 

I’m taking my Kindle, my iPod and my camera, and leaving my computer at home.  I’m going to sit on the beach, soak in the vitamin D and think good, fertile thoughts.  While my week with my friends and family was very healing, this weekend is for me to find my balance again, and prepare myself for the stress of trying to conceive after miscarriage.

Happy 4th of July!