TGIF

This has been an all around crappy week.

Work has sucked even more than usual, and while I could easily give a 4 page rant about all the things I'm so mad about, I think I'll spare you all those details. Then there was having to drive Finn out to Ashley's on Wednesday, which meant another day with almost no time with Finn.  Nanny M did end up being sick on Thursday, and while I really wanted to just call in sick myself, my schedule is so crazy right now, I was afraid I'd make things even worse for myself if I did so.  Unfortunately, my only option for watching him - LB - was already committed to something else on Thursday morning, so I brought Finn to work with me.

I had planned on keeping him in my office, but the women who work in the back office insisted I put him in their space, so they could all do their work and take turns taking care of him.  When he started to get fussy, Lisa rocked him to sleep, then put him down on the floor where he got in a good hour long nap.  Some of my patients got to see him - I had my nurse call one of them because he and his wife had been talking about how much they wanted to meet him, and while he couldn't come, his wife came up with her camera and got in a good visit with lots of pictures.  Finn smiled and flirted and had a wonderful time visiting with everyone and was so well behaved!  I felt bad bringing him in, but luckily it wasn't a big deal at all.

Asleep on the job

Then at lunch I drove up to meet LB at a Target that's halfway between my office and her house.  Thanks to a comedy of errors, what should have taken 45 minutes ended up taking 90 minutes, so I got back to work late, stressed out and exhausted.  I can't believe it, but I actually cried half the way back to the office.

These are the sorts of scenarios I prepared myself for when thinking about being a single mom, but for some reason the reality is so much harder to deal with than I thought it would be.  It's amazing how something so wonderful as being a mom can also be so stressful.  I feel like I'm being ungrateful or silly for getting so upset about what is just another part of being a mom, but I just can't help myself.

I made it up to LB's by 6pm, and found Finn playing happily on the floor with his "cousins" and ended up keeping Finn out past his bedtime so we could all go to dinner together.  I had planned on showing my thanks by buying her dinner, and I did, but I didn't feel like it was as generous as it could have been when LB told me that she loved eating at Jason's Deli without her husband, because when she does, she and the kids could all eat for $12.  (LB orders a child's dinner for herself.  Seriously, a nursing mom and she's content with just a small baked potato for dinner.  I wish I could do that.)

Nanny M was back on the job today, but it was just a half day for her since Finn had his allergiest appointment this afternoon.  I loved his doctor (who is also my nephew Oliver's allergist).  She decided that while wheat was a possibility, it's most likely eggs that he's allergic to.  He got the skin testing done, and after 15 minutes, Dr. Patel took one look at his back and said, "Oh, he's an allergic little boy."  Really? Of all the things I expected him to get, allergies wasn't one of them.  (Ok, so cancer wasn't either, but still.  Allergies.  Where did this come from?)

Pinpricked back

The good news is that he does not appear to be allergic to peanuts, but the bad news is that he does seem to be allergic to eggs, oats (though he has oatmeal every day for breakfast), wheat and cats.  She wanted him to get blood testing to help confirm the diagnosis, so she gave us a lab slip and sent us off to get his blood drawn.  I decided to first go to the Children's Hospital lab, but got there and found out they closed at 4:30, instead of 5, like I was told.  So instead I went to the lab that I had gone to for all my fertility testing.  The lab tech got a look of fear on her face when she saw Finn, and of course had no luck in getting any blood.  The poor boy cried and cried - and then smiled at her when she was apologizing after she'd given up and decided we weren't going to get any blood.

I'm now not sure what to do.  Should I take him to the Children's Hospital next week and hope they have more luck?  Or should I call the allergist and ask if we can delay the blood tests until Finn's next MRI in April, and have them draw his blood while the IV is in?  We were sent home with an epi pen and strict instructions to avoid all eggs and all restaurant food.  I imagine those instructions would stay the same, even if we got the labs and knew for sure what we were dealing with, so now I'm not even sure what benefit there is to getting the blood tests at all.

All I know is that I'm exhausted, my stomach is in knots and I really need a good cry.  Or a gin and tonic.

Rashes

It was almost 4 pm and I was running 5 patients behind when I heard my phone ring.  I finished with that patient, and checked my voice mail - it was Nanny M.  She never calls me during the day, she always texts, so I was worried before I even heard her voice, "Call me back as soon as you get this message."  Finn had woken up fussy from a nap just as she noticed what she thought was a bug bite.  Almost before her eyes, it went from one spot to a rash all over his body, his ears and face were bright red and he was crying.  I told her to get some benadryl and head towards the pediatrician's office and I called their triage nurse.  The nurse took some information from me, then called Nanny M and talked to her directly before telling her to bring Finn in.  M texted me a short while later, "The doctor says he's going to be fine!" and then the doctor called me herself to tell me that it was definitely an allergic reaction, but they're not sure what it was from.  He'd been asleep for an hour when the rash started, and he'd eaten two hours before it started.  I have to admit, we haven't been very good about waiting 3-4 days in between introducing foods, so it might have been the chicken M fed him while they were out at lunch, it was only his second time having chicken (the first time was when I was out to lunch on Sunday).  Or it might have what the chicken was cooked in, or maybe it was egg in the little piece of bread she let him have.

At any rate, Finn apparently hasn't had enough specialists taking care of him, because now we have to make an appointment with a pediatric allergist.  And, of course, the allergist might not even be helpful, since allergy is a weird field, especially with babies.  With babies, the allergy testing is limited, and a negative test doesn't mean much of anything - but a positive test at least will tell me if there's something that really should be avoided.

My patient schedule is already overbooked for the next 6 weeks (and this week and next they forgot to leave me time to pump in the afternoon - hence me running 5 patients behind), and Finn's January MRI still hasn't been scheduled yet, and I now have to find time to take him to an allergist.  And then to allergy testing.

In the meantime I'm trying to wage war with our EMR (electronic medical records) company.  I sent an email today that ended with, "and it really makes me wonder who it was you had review your program before it went live.  Even a physician who has never prescribed insulin could tell you that not only is it inaccurate, but also an embarrassment to have the choice to dose insulin in teaspoons and tablespoons in your prescription template."

Is it Christmas vacation yet?