Date Night

If you're familiar with Dr. Laura Markham, you've probably heard about Special Time - that tiny sliver of time that parent and child spend together for bonding and reconnecting every day.

If you're familiar with the life of a mom who works full time...especially a single mom at that...you're probably aware that Special Time is pretty hard to come by.

My boys each have me to themselves at bedtime.  I let Finn watch 30 minutes of television while I rock Zachary, read him a few stories and sing before bed.  It's our sweet, one on one time that is very special, but since it has the purpose of getting him to sleep, I'm not quite sure it counts as Special Time.  Finn and I then have his bedtime routine - which again I'm not quite sure counts as Special Time, since the sole purpose of the entire time is to get him to go to sleep.

So a few months ago we started doing Date Nights.  Once I get Zachary to sleep, we go downstairs and make small bowls of ice cream, and then we sit on the back porch while we eat and just enjoy each other's company.

It's been well over a month since our last date night, and Finn's behavior has been a little difficult lately - I'm sure due to the craziness of our travels over the past month, as well as the stress of starting a new school. Understandable or not, it's been pretty exhausting and very frustrating. And pretty clear that we were long overdue for Date Night.

So tonight I put Zachary to bed and Finn and I went outside with our fancy ice cream sundaes. We ate.  We listened to bird calls on our favorite app (Merlin Bird ID).  He told me just the tiniest little bit about school ("When I walk in the door, I try not to smile, but I just can't help myself.  I love it so much!") and he asked me about the patients I saw today.  We talked about our next vacations.  We just sat and listened to the cicadas for a few minutes.

It was then that I noticed the sunset, and decided we should walk out to see it.  Which led to picture taking.  And that led to rock jumping (doesn't it always?)

I'm pretty sure I needed Date Night tonight just as much as he did.  It was nice to spend time with no purpose together, no other distractions, just me and him.  Even if the time connecting doesn't help improve his behavior at all, I know it will help improve my reactions to him.  And I'm sure that will help everything.  (This parenting stuff is so much harder than I ever thought it would be.)  

A Preschooler's Prayer

Finn started preschool today, and  I'm acutely aware that this time next year I'll be sharing "first day of kindergarten" pictures... which of course means it's only a few years before I'm sending him off to college.

It's a new school - I moved him from the preschool he was at last year to one that follows the Reggio Emilia approach to education, which I think fits our family better than his previous school.  And, it's only a few minutes from home!  He's in the afternoon session, so I can pick him up a few days a week, as well.

It was a short day with only half his class to allow him time to get comfortable in the classroom, but knowing my boy, it will take a few weeks before he's at home there.  It's such a beautiful space, and his teachers seem lovely - I'm so excited to watch him learn and grow this year.

At bedtime tonight, he said he wanted to say his prayers.  I was expecting something about his first day of school in his prayers. This is what he said:

"Dear God:
"Please turn our house into a ship.
"And then turn me into a Jedi.
"And when you do, give me a real light saber and an astroblaster.
"Then teach me the ways of the Force, so I can fight the bad guys.
"Thank you.  Amen."