365 All Done!

I meant to post this on February 6...but then I got busy.  And so here I am, almost a week later, finally posting the last few pictures of my 365 project.

It's so incredible, looking back through the pictures I've taken in the past year.  I'm pretty sure that without the project I would have still managed to take a lot of pictures of Zachary, but I love that I documented just about every single day of his first year.

And now I'm thinking about doing another 365 day project.  Instead of taking just Zachary's picture, though I'm just going to aim for a picture a day that documents our daily life.  So maybe I'll get Zachary, or Finn, or the cat, or maybe it will be something completely different.  I'm going to try to take it a step beyond just a snapshot every day, but I know that I'll still end up with a lot of those.  But at least a few times a week I'm going to try to take an extra few minutes to really think about photo composition.

I don't know if I'll post them on the blog - I started using ShutterCal last year (but am horribly behind on updating it) and may post there.  I'm not sure.  I need something to keep me accountable and posting on the blog really helped with that, so maybe I will post here.  (I'm so indecisive.)

1/28/15: love his pose in this one.  :)

1/29/15: such a sweet, sleepy smile

1/30/15: playing together

1/31/15: happy boy

2/1/15: adventures in the backyard

2/2/15: asleep in his crib

2/3/15: climbing to get close to big brother

2/4/15: Playing before bedtime

2/5/15: "Look Mommy, Zach is fixing the sink!"

2/6/16: getting ready for bed

2/7/15: Happy Birthday!

One Year

My dearest Zachary,

I can't believe you're a year old today.  We had a rare quiet moment together this morning in your room, as I rocked you while you nursed at the exact time you were born one year ago today.  It was the perfect way to start your big day.

This year has been a whirlwind blur of change and activity, and I've never been so tired in my entire life, but it's been worth every hour of lack of sleep.  You have brought such joy to our family in such a short period of time.  I love the way you are so free with your affection, climbing into my lap for a snuggle or holding on tight when I give you a hug.  One second your face is serious and solemn, and the next an enormous grin is stretching across it, or your entire face is scrunched into that sweet and silly smile of yours.  And your giggles - oh, it makes me heart sing to hear you giggle.

You love playing in water (and that leads to endless races to see who can get to the toilet first), eating, laughing at Zaphira and making lots of noise.  Your whole face lights up when your big brother walks into the room, and even when he's beating up on you, it's clear you adore him.

You are also fearless.  Your Aunt Uche says you need a shirt that says, "I crawl towards danger" and it's true.  I've already found you climbing on things, trying to figure out how you can get just a little bit higher, reach a little further.  I have a feeling you're going to give me more than a scare or two over the next few years.

You hate having your diaper changed.  When I tell you that you can't do something you want, your temper comes out.  Boy does it come out.  Screams, arching back - everyone knows when you're mad.  It never lasts long, though.  It never ceases to amaze me how you can go from crying and screaming to grinning and laughing in the blink of an eye.

It is so fun to watch your personality develop. It's already clear you are so different from your brother, but I think the two of you are going to make a great team.  I'm so lucky to be your mommy and I'm looking forward to the adventures this next year is going to bring.

Happy First Birthday, Zachary!

#MicroblogMondays: Anger Management

Want to know what #MicroblogMonday is?  Click here.

This age - this past year - has been such a mixture of pure fun and joy and absolute frustration and anger.  It's amazing how Finn can be a sweet kid who just wants to snuggle one second, and then get angry at me and throw something at my face the next.

It's been a struggle.  I don't want to yell.  I don't want to lecture.  I really don't want to hit.  But so often I don't know what to do.  The peaceful parenting resources I've found (some of which I've talked about here) have been so helpful, but there are still times I flounder.

Over the past week or so, I've realized I see myself in Finn's behavior.  Or more accurately, I see my actions reflected back at me.  The way he reacts when he's angry or frustrated, the things that push my buttons - they're me.  He's doing what I taught him to do.

I need to teach him a better way by modeling a better way.

Me, learning to control my temper.  This is going to be tough.