Dopplers Revisited

I started a list tonight of the things I have found to be absolutely essential during pregnancy, and the first thing I thought of was my doppler.  And then I decided that this is something that should probably be a post of its own, since it really has been vital for my sanity during a lot of this pregnancy.

Some of you might remember that my doppler also caused a lot of stress on one particular day, early in pregnancy, when I couldn't find a heartbeat at all.  Luckily, I never had that hard of a time finding his heartbeat after that, though there were still times it took a while.  I'm sure the reason it was so hard was because it was still early in pregnancy - it really did get easier to find as the weeks progressed.

I'm not sure I would have needed the reassurance of a doppler if I had not had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy; it's impossible to say whether I would have felt the same sense of anxiety the first time around.  Even though I had a good feeling about this pregnancy from the very beginning, it didn't keep me from feeling slightly neurotic at times, and I really needed all the reassurance I could possibly get!  So as soon as I had an ultrasound that was transabdominal instead of transvag, I was ordering myself a doppler from Baby Beats.  I know you can get much cheaper dopplers elsewhere, but those aren't really dopplers, they're more like glorified microphones.  This place (and several others) rent medical grade dopplers, just like what the OB uses.

I thought about renting one just until the time that I thought I'd be able to feel him moving, but then I decided to go ahead and rent for a full 6 months - a time period that just ended a few days ago.  Before I felt him moving, I used it every single night.  Never for long, just a quick check in to say, yes, he's still there!  And then once I felt him moving, it was so inconsistent at first, that I needed the reassurance to know that he was still really ok, since it would sometimes be hours or even a day or so between feeling him move.  Once he started to move consistently, I didn't listen in as much, maybe once every few days or so.  Usually if I don't feel him move, I can push on him some, and he'll move.  Occasionally all I'll have to do is think about how I haven't felt him moving to get him to give my stomach a good kick, and so I've checked more just to hear the sound of his little heartbeat, and not because I need reassurance.  I had planned on mailing it back last week, but then I had a day where he didn't move much, and he didn't seem to respond when I pushed on him.  This is pretty common in late pregnancy - there just isn't room for a lot of movement anymore - but I still worried.  And it was such a relief to put the probe on my belly and hear that swoosh-swoosh-swoosh!  I've now decided I'm paying the extra $45 to keep it an extra month.  I have put the return box out on the kitchen table though, so I remember to send someone to the post office with it as soon I we get home from the hospital.

It wasn't a particularly cheap investment, but for the peace of mind, it has been well worth the cost!

The Dark Side of Dopplers

If you read about getting a doppler, you’ll see that a lot of OBs recommend against it, because it’s likely to cause needless worry if you can’t find the heartbeat – especially earlier in pregnancy.  I knew this, and was prepared to not be able to find the heartbeat when I first got it.  What I was not prepared for was not being able to find Chiquitita’s heartbeat after having the doppler for 5 days.

Last night, I snuggled up with my cat and my doppler, ready to quickly check in on Chiquitita before bed.  Only I couldn’t find the heartbeat.  I’m pretty sure I tried for at least 20 minutes, scanning back and forth across my lower abdomen over and over again.  I tried to be calm, theorizing that I was having trouble because I was constipated, and there were….things….in the way keeping me from hearing the heartbeat.  I decided I would go to sleep and try again in the morning. 

I woke up a few times in the night, and was tempted to try then, but knew I’d never fall asleep if I did that, and so managed to hold off until my alarm went off.  I whipped out the doppler and the gel, but again, I couldn’t hear anything but my own heartbeat.  I went to the gym anyway, and spent the whole time trying to reassure myself that all was well, and being only slightly successful at it.  The workout helped out with my constipation issue, so when I got home, I tried the doppler again – and again – nothing!  Now I was really freaking out.  I felt like everything was ok, but after three tries and no success I was starting to worry that I was wrong, and something had happened to the baby.  Should I call the OB?  Should I call one of my friends?  What did I need to do?  I couldn’t imagine how I’d make it through the day with this sort of anxiety.  

Then, while I was in the shower, I realized that I can feel the top of my uterus now when I’m standing up.  That’s something that after an hour of searching with a doppler, I knew I couldn’t do lying down.  Once I’d dried off, I picked up the doppler again, and this time stuck the probe right at the top of my uterus while I was standing up.   And there it was, the beautiful little heartbeat, pounding away at 164 beats per minute.  At this point I was so wound up I actually felt my pulse to be sure it wasn’t my heartbeat I was picking up, and when I was sure it wasn’t, I almost passed out with relief. 

After all this drama, I’m still glad I got the doppler.  But I’m going to try really hard not to freak out as badly the next time I can’t find anything!  (I said try, that doesn’t mean I expect to succeed!)

In other news, I officially announced my pregnancy on Facebook today (after first checking in and making sure I could still hear the heartbeat tonight, of course).  I had originally planned on saying something like, “Shannon is pregnant.  And yes she’s still single, and yes it was on purpose,” but I decided that made me sound defensive, which I’m not at all.  So instead I went with this: “After years of thinking, months of planning, weeks of waiting and hours (and hours) in doctors’ offices, I’m so happy to be finally be able to say I am pregnant!”  I really can’t believe I’ve made it to the point where I can share my news with everyone.  Yay!

Fetal Dopplers

I'm a neurotic mess - I admit it.  Just a few days after my ultrasound I found myself worrying about how Chiquitita is doing.  And so I rented one of those medical grade dopplers - which finally came tonight.  (And by finally, I mean 1½  days after I ordered it, thanks to the extra fee for expedited shipping.)  I had prepared myself for the thought that it might not work this early, even though my last ultrasound was transabdominal, but I spent all day today looking forward to hearing the heartbeat again.

I'd read that it was easier to hear a heartbeat if you have a full bladder, so I made sure I had plenty of water before I left work tonight.  As soon as I got home, I tore into the box and barely read the instructions before I had the gel out and the probe on my tummy.  I couldn’t hear a thing but my own heartbeat, no matter how slowly I scanned across, or how hard or deep I pushed.  Finally, all the pressure made the urge to pee unbearable, so I gave up and went to the bathroom.

But then I decided to try again, and settled back on the bed, bending my knees to relax my stomach a little more.  It took a minute or two, but finally I heard it, that precious little heartbeat, pumping away at 170 beats per minute.  I swear, it sounds like a little train in there, “chug chug chug chug.”  Now I feel a little more relaxed, at least for tonight.  I know I’ll be listening in again tomorrow, but this time with an empty bladder!