Two Weeks of Pictures

I found another wonderful walking trail a few weeks ago, this one right along the river and perfect for a long steady walk.  It doesn't have as many places for Finn to get out of the stroller to explore, but it's beautiful, he still enjoys it, and I can get a good steady walk in with this trail, so we've started doing one weekend day, and then the other one the next day.  I'm so enjoying being able to get outside with my boys!  Even when we're having a difficult weekend (as we did this weekend - Finn is definitely testing his boundaries) we are all happier after spending some time outside.

This weekend was hot.  We went to the farm greenway on Saturday morning, and found ourselves in the midst of a barbecue and bluegrass festival.  After we got our walk in, we stopped to listen to music for a few minutes and then I decided to head home.  As I was leaving, I thought to myself that we'd come back next year and sample the barbecue.  And then Finn told me he wanted to stay.  And I realized there was no reason we couldn't!  So I bought us a ticket and we sampled all sorts of yummy barbecue, before buying sno cones and sitting in the grass to listen to great music.  Finn was enthralled - he loved watching the musicians play, and would have stayed all day if I'd let him.

Sunday we walked the river trail, and even though we went in the morning, I was a hot and sweaty mess by the time we were done.  Both kids fell asleep on the walk, and Finn stayed asleep until we got to lunch.  Poor kid was exhausted.  And I had the best workout I've had in years (pushing that stroller up and down hills is no joke!)

The weather has done a huge change the past two days and been downright chilly and rainy.  Finn's worn pants and a jacket to school and I've started to notice a hint of red and orange in the trees. This is my favorite time of year - the foliage, the cooler weather, the smells and the yummy foods - I love it all.  I am making it a priority to find time to really enjoy it this year.

I somehow never made it back to post my pictures from last week, so this week's post has two weeks worth instead of just one.

9/10/14: more mobile every day

9/11/14: working on getting into the crawling position

9/12/14: still loves to sleep in his swing...might be getting a bit too big for it!

9/13/14: shopping with the boys

9/14/14: along the river trail

9/15/14: bathtime!

9/16/14: happy boy

9/17/14: everything goes into his mouth

9/18/14: he's discovered drawers

9/19/14: taking a break from dinner

9/20/14: if you look closely, you can see his two top teeth poking through (this was on the farm trail)

9/21/14: waiting for dinner to be ready on the back patio

9/22/14: he's a tummy sleeper now

9/23/14: PopPop trying to get him to walk

Tired.

It's Wednesday night, and I should be asleep, and I should have posted my pictures of the week by now.  But I had a work dinner tonight and got home after the boys were in bed.  Then I was so sleepy, I got into bed a little early, and discovered that Zachary has no interest in sleeping.  At least not with me in the bed.  After 45 minutes of "shhhh!" and "go to sleep" and pats and belly rubs, I have given up.  I can still hear him making noises, but they're drowsy and becoming less frequent, instead of the nonstop babble that was going on a few minutes ago.

Tired seems to be the word of the month.  (The year?) Both boys have colds, I have a cold and an asthma exacerbation. Zachary is teething.  And his new found ability to roll has him trying it out in bed, which keeps him awake.  I've had a medical student with me for the month, and he's smart and interested and enjoyable to work with, but I'm so far behind because I spend all my free time talking to him.  I've just about exhausted every super quick meal idea I have and haven't cooked anything really good in weeks.  I'm failing miserably in my goal of getting 5 fruits and veggies a day.

And yet...Finn has had some really good days at school.  I've found that if I wait, he'll share just a little of his day.  Just a snippet, but he shares it carefully and thoughtfully, and so I treasure these little pictures of his day.  He's still constantly pushing, constantly testing, and an emotional powder keg, but we're both starting to find a way to work through these issues.  Zachary still smiles, even when covered in snot, and has started to give kisses that feel like hickeys in the making.

My house is a mess. My hair is a mess.  I'm pretty sure I owe people money.  I know I owe a few friends phone calls or emails. I'm not sure I've ever been so sleep deprived in all my life.

And yet...there's an infant who has now thankfully fallen back to sleep in my room.  And there's a soft bed calling my name.  If I'm really lucky, the 3 year old will stay in his own room until right when my alarm goes off in the morning, and we'll have time to snuggle and reconnect before getting up for the day.

Emotional Outbursts

Last Wednesday afternoon, Nanny M sent me a text that Finn had not had a good day at preschool.  Actually, most of his day had been good, but then there was an issue with sharing with his new friends, and he had a meltdown.  One of the teachers ended up having to take him out of the room to calm him down, as he kicked and screamed, saying that he hit his mommy and said he couldn't stop. I don't think he actually hit a classmate, but I know he did try to hit one.

These emotional outbursts are not new, and getting him to stop hitting me when he gets mad is something we've been working on for a long time.  So his outburst wasn't completely surprising, but I didn't really expect it to happen at school. I spent the whole rest of the day worrying about what I would say to him, and how I would deal with it. We ended up talking about what happened, talking about dealing with anger and how it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hit our friends. I also pointed out to him that he rarely hits me anymore - usually he catches himself as he's about to hit and stops himself.  And then we did a lot of role playing of how to deal with anger and sharing - which he loved.  He's had good days since, but I worry that this incident might have taken away a little of his joy in his new school.  Getting him to tell me about his day is like pulling teeth, so unless he shares something in play, I don't get any information at all about his day.  (Believe me, I've tried everything, including very specific questions, but the kid isn't talking.)

Meanwhile, Zachary is just full of smiles and happy.  This week's pictures were all on my phone (which is what happens when I put up my good camera while cleaning house and never get it out again).

9/3/14: still just the two teeth - and so cute!

9/4/14: sound asleep

9/5/14: hanging out in the back yard

9/6/14: Z's first trip to the mall - I was going to try for a better picture but I got distracted by the pretty pots and pans

9/7/14: first time with a sippy cup

9/8/14: he tried so hard to get this ball

9/9/14: selfie 

He Looks Just Like You - #MicroblogMondays

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"He looks so much like you!"

I'm used to hearing that about Finn, so one of my concerns when considering donor eggs for baby #2 was that he would look nothing like either of us.  What would that do to his psyche, his sense of belonging I wondered? I also dreaded the conversations with people: "He doesn't look like you, does he look like his dad?" And yet, I wanted another baby, and I knew donor eggs were my best bet. So I went with a donor I liked, and was told by the coordinator that she looked like she could be my sister.

And still, I was not prepared to hear what I've heard over and over again the past few weeks.  "Wow, he looks MORE like you than Finn does!"

I was also not really prepared for the fact that it doesn't really matter. At least not to me.  I see his little face light up when I walk in the room, and what that face looks like doesn't matter.  All that matters is that I love him so much my heart just about bursts with it.

(Though I have to admit, it does make me happy that I'll never have to worry about him feeling like he doesn't really look like he's part of the family.)

Easy and Tough

I swear, my kids seem to take turns being easy going and being tough...which I guess is a good thing, because it would be pretty rough right now, with both of them being in a tough phase.  Finn had a rough day at school today, and has had a rough go of it overall the past few weeks.  But today, I'm going to focus on Zachary, and save rough and tough for another day.

Zachary is such a busy boy.  When he is awake he is grabbing for something, playing with something or trying to get attention by making funny noises.  He's working on feeding himself puffs, but today got tired of trying with his hands, and so he put his face down on the highchair tray and ate them that way.  He laughs easily, even when he's sad.  He likes every food he's tried, except for avocado, which he loved when he first had it (blended with breast milk) but now that I'm giving it to him just mashed up, he's making the yucky face.

He has been sitting up on his own since early July, and has really gotten good at it, though he still topples over from time to time, which has prompted Finn to routinely surround him with every pillow and blanket in the house, so he won't get hurt when he falls.  He's struggled with rolling over though, and I swear, the first time he did, the entire house shook.  He's getting good at it and always giggles when he lands on his back.  At this age, Finn was rolling back and forth with ease, but was a lot less steady with sitting up; it's funny how different they are.

This week was fun with the pictures of the day - my best shot was captured just because I had my camera out and ready to go.

8/27/14: Zachary's nest in the kitchen

8/28/14 - oh the rolls!

8/29/14: and his nest in the bathroom (clearly he loves it)

8/30/14: I had a couple of great ones for today but this one won - asleep by the lake at our greenway

8/31/14: trying out the mesh feeder for the first time (bananas!)

9/1/14: I walked into the playroom to see this scene - sweetest picture ever

9/2/14: I really don't like any pictures of me these days, but I'm trying to embrace the idea of being in the picture at least some of the time, so this is Z's picture for today

  

First Day!

Finn was so excited this morning when he realized it was his first day of school.  He jumped out of the bed and said, "Come on, Mommy!  We need to get my backpack!" He was very disappointed when he realized that we actually had to get ready. Nanny M came over at her usual time and helped speed up the getting ready process, and we had time for pictures before heading off to school.

Last night we'd practiced his first morning of school (Finn is very in to role playing these days), and we talked about it again on the way to school.  I shared with him the one piece of advice I wish someone had told me years ago: it was everyone else's first day of school, and so he wasn't the only one who would be nervous this morning.  I'm not sure he really understood, but I'm going to be sure to repeat it every first day from now on!

We got to school just a few minutes before the doors opened, and as soon as they did, we headed down the hall to his classroom.  We hung up his backpack and stowed his lunch box, then he washed his hands before going into his classroom.  It took him a few minutes to decide on his seat, but by the time he sat down, he was ready for me to go.  I gave him a hug and a kiss and left him playing at a table with a bunch of other boys.  I'm not sure he even looked up as I walked out the door.  I made it to the car before the tears hit, but they passed quickly, thank goodness.

I took the entire day off, so I went to a coffee shop and worked on charts and other boring work stuff while watching the clock and wondering how Finn was doing.  Finally it was time to pick him up - I walked into his classroom right at 1pm, and he and another kid were the only ones left.  (I had no idea everyone else would be picking up their kids early!)  He saw me and his entire face lit up.  I picked him up and got the best and longest hug I've gotten in a long time.  His teachers said he'd had a good day and he said he was excited to come back again tomorrow.

We went from school to get ice cream while I tried to pry details about his day from him.  I even tried asking him specific questions (What was the best part of your day? Did you make any friends? What songs did you sing? Did you learn any letters?  What story did you hear today?) but he was not giving up much information.  One thing he was clear about was that he couldn't wait to get home to tell Zachary about his day. He gave Nanny M a hug and talked to her for a minute, and then ran straight over to Zachary and sat there talking to him for at least 5 minutes while Nanny M and I talked.  I love watching the two of them.

A few hours after we got home he started to play school, and it was there that I heard most of what happened.  He shared with me a lot of the rules ("You don't take your pants and shoes off to go potty," was my favorite) and said lots of things like, "Ok boys and girls, line up and follow your teacher!"  I heard lots of snippets about things that kids ("my friends") said during the day - I really can't wait to start hearing stories about all his classmates and watching him grow and learn.

He told me that his best part of the day was "when you came to pick me up!" but after a little prodding, he also said that the letter they learned today was "F".  "And when the teacher asked if anyone knew what the letter was, I raised my hand and said it was F for Finn!"  He gets his letter on his very first day?  Sounds like the perfect start to a good year.