The Dreaming Tree

Thank you for all your thoughtful and insightful responses to my last post.  I’ve read them over and over, talked with friends and family, and I’ve decided what I knew in my heart from the beginning: that I would be crazy not to pursue this!

I talked to Michelle today, and she told me that the couple’s other child has been living with his 83 year old grandmother, who certainly can’t handle taking care of another baby.  Michelle thinks they’re “80% committed” to adopting this baby out, and she said that she’s already made it clear to them that she wouldn’t take the baby unless it was a full out adoption in the hospital after delivery.  Which would be my condition, too, of course.  Unfortunately they’ve had no prenatal care, so she’s not really sure how far along she is.  This isn’t ideal, but I suppose it’s better than a baby that has had no prenatal care and is addicted to cocaine.

I asked her to talk to the parents, and let them know I’m interested, and see what they have to say.  (And to tell them to get to the health department and get a check up!)  I think one huge limitation here is going to be that Michelle really wants to adopt this baby, too.  But if her marriage ends, she couldn’t do it.  And I think it’s going to end, from what she’s said lately.  She isn’t making any decisions yet, so for now I’m in limbo.

I’ve been reading up on adoption and even though it would be a private adoption, I’ll have to do a homestudy.  It looks like this can be a 2-3 month process, so while I want to wait on doing anything adoption related until I know more, I’m wondering when I need to start thinking about contacting an agency to do the homestudy.  I guess there’d be nothing wrong with doing it in the near future, because it’ll be good for a year, and I’m told it’s easy to renew when the year is up.  But then I wonder what sort of impact the whole “single mom trying to conceive” thing might have on my chances of getting approved.

It’s overwhelming.  And so nice to have good what-ifs to look forward to, instead of sad if-onlys to imagine.  And - less than two weeks before starting drugs for IUI - something else to obsess about besides the condition of the follicles in my ovaries!