Simplicity Parenting

When I saw the title of this month's PAIL book club book, I couldn't resist.  Simplicity Parenting. I didn't even read the blurb about the book before signing up - it sounded like something I need, right this very second. As a single mom of a 21 month old, I think what I got out of this book is much different than what someone who has older children would, and can see how this will be a book I need to read again in 4-5 years.

The first chapter of this book really spoke to me.  The author, Kim John Payne, asks parents to remember what they thought life would be like with children:

As parents, we don't often get to live the ideals.  Not a spectator sport, parenting is about being in the thick of it.  We may be the architects of our family's daily lives, but it's hard to draw blueprints of something that is constantly changing and growing.  With kids you don't have much time to dream, and most parents are surprised by how far they've strayed from the dreams they once had for their family.  It's true, they had sketchy data at the time.   

Even if some of the details were unrealistic, your dreams about your family had truth to them. They had meaning and still do. They show what you valued most when you began this huge undertaking, this family-building.  What inspired you then can inspire you still.  It has to; families need fresh infusions of hope and imagination.  

 I love this.

Even without crazy schedules and an overstressed child, I found this book to be very grounding.  I've been so focused on paying the bills, going to work every day, on trying to get pregnant with Baby #2, on trying to learn to cook, that I sometimes forget that my dreams for my family was not to have the biggest house, the nicest furniture, the most toys.  My dreams for my family was to have home be a safe haven, and our free time full of simple adventures - rambles in the woods and cookie making in the kitchen (with the occasional amazing vacation thrown in for good measure).  My dreams also included messy living rooms and sleepless nights - you don't go through fertility treatments as a single woman without doing some real research.  :)

This book outlines the ways we as parents can simplify our children's lives (and our lives), making childhood the protected space it should be.  Each chapter covers a different aspect of that simplification - for example he encourages parents to look at their children's schedules and make time for planned downtime in the midst of soccer practice, homework and playdates.  Other areas of simplification include home environment (think toys, screen time) and nutrition. It's not an overnight process, and for me I can see that it will be more a work in progress, with some things I can easily implement now, while others are for me to incorporate into our lives as it becomes necessary.

I'm glad I took a few hours to read this book over the past two weeks.  I hope to incorporate a lot of his strategies for simplification into our lives as Finn (and hopefully baby #2) grow up.  It's helped me remember what my dreams for my family were when I was just imagining what it would be like to have children.