Confirming my Suspicions

I had some pink spotting last night before putting in my Crinone, and was tempted to just not put it in, but then decided I'd better be on the safe side.  And then I got another BFN this morning, at 12pIUI and I really wish I'd skipped it.  My whole stomach is achy, and I'm afraid the Crinone is going to keep AF away a couple more days, which is going to be pretty uncomfortable if I continue to feel like this.  (For the record, I had lots of mild "day before your period" cramping before my BFP with Finn, but this is different, this is more like bad period cramping.)  I really want to take some Aleve, but I can't bring myself to do it, just in case I get a late BFP.  I didn't get a BFP until 14dpIUI with my first pregnancy...which isn't very reassuring, since I had a miscarriage with that one.

I wasn't feeling very optimistic with this cycle, but then I had cramping around the time that implantation might be happening, and I've been so nauseated the past week - it was enough to really make me hope that I had been wrong to start with.

This has been the worst two week wait ever, I was so hopeful there'd be something good to come of it.  It started with the stress of Nanny M being sick on the day of and after my IUI.  Then our newest doctor's father (who had been ill for a long time with metastatic cancer) took a turn for the worse last Tuesday, and died on Thursday morning.  She's been a mess, and my heart breaks for her.  My other partner, the doctor who has been there almost as long as I have, had a suspicious lymph node in his chest biopsied last week - he gets regular monitoring for his history of lymphoma a few years ago.  We get the results of that today.  It has to be good news, I just can't imagine anything differently.

I think I need an Aleve, a diet Coke, and a strong sedative of some kind.  Or at the very least a baby who decided to sleep past 5 this morning.

Thank goodness my fridge is fully stocked with cold diet Coke.