Follow-Up with the Surgeon

Thanks for all your words of support after my last post.  I'm feeling better the past few days, thanks to what you all had to say, as well as a few good things that have happened in the past week.

I found a workout that does a lot to burn off some of that anxious energy, almost as good as a long run would: a long walk with Finn strapped into my Becco carrier.  Wow, my heart rate was up, I was short of breath and I had a nice long snuggle with my boy, all at the same time!  I've really been missing my workouts, so this is a huge discovery for me.

Then the oncologist called me on Friday to tell me she'd heard from another specialist, this one at Stanford, who agreed with the plan to just watch Finn's tumor with serial MRIs.  Two out of three specialists agree - this is the plan to go with.

Finn had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon today, which was the icing on my cake for the week (and it's only Tuesday!)  Turns out, the surgeon actually trained with the oncologist from Seattle who recommended that Finn get another biopsy, and he said that she always wants more tissue - she always recommends another biopsy when there's any question of what to do next.  Knowing that this is her usual advice makes me feel much better about not following her recommendation.  Is that twisted logic or rational logic?  I just don't know anymore.

What made me feel even better was what the surgeon said would happen if Finn did have to have another surgery.  He said that he'd have to take the entire nerve (the ganglion) that is involved, possibly making his Horner's Syndrome worse, and ensuring that it would never get better.  That's not so bad, Finn looks kind of cute with a droopy eye, but what's bad is the fact that he'd also have to try to get tissue from the part of the tumor that's around the brachial plexus - which would risk damaging the nerves that control Finn's right arm.  And that would be bad.  The surgeon reiterated the fact that infants tend to do really well with this cancer, so the chance of the tumor growing isn't worth risking permanent damage to get more tissue right now.

Today my anxiety is manageable.  It's still there, but I don't feel like I'm about to drown because of it.  Especially when Finn is such a happy boy.