It only lasted for a second - I know that my family isn't yet complete - but it was definitely there. Not so much because of the thought of what having two children will be like. I know the first few years are going to be exhausting. I know there will be many sleepless nights, and nights where I call my sister or one of my friends in tears because I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm prepared for that - I know I can handle that sort of challenge.
No, what triggered that thought was the thought of starting the process of trying conceive again and all the craziness that goes with it. And so before I went to sleep I listened to a new guided meditation for fertility by Belleruth Naparstek. I listened to her pregnancy guided meditations when I was pregnant with Finn, and had to get this one as I start TTC #2. I absolutely loved it. It was exactly what I needed to hear.
And so I woke up to a beautiful early fall morning and have had a happy and optimistic feeling in my heart all day long. I hope I still feel this way after my CD3 labs on Tuesday morning!
*****
Thanks to everyone (all 50 of you!) who voted on my lucky socks poll. The final results were:
27 (54%) for the socks I wore with Finn
22 (44%) for new socks
1 (2%) thought I should forget the socks - who gets pregnant from lucky socks?
In the end, it was the comments that made my decision for me. Kallie talked about the dress she wore with her IUI with her son, and how it now makes her sad to look at that dress when the next IUI didn't work. Heidi pointed out that if I had different socks for the two children, each child would get their special socks one day. Tiara, BB and Jessica all worried about tainting Finn's socks if I don't have as good an outcome as I did the first time I wore them. And Meg reminded me that I'll need Finn's lucky socks again when he learns to drive! So while I like the idea of using the good luck associated with Finn's socks, I think the 44% who voted for new socks have swayed me.
Now to find the time to hunt down my new lucky socks!
Posts
Good luck!
ReplyDeleteExciting times here pretty quick! I think it's great that you already know your plan of attack for two LOs at the same time, and that it will pose its own challenges.
ReplyDeleteI had taken the poll, but didn't have a chance to comment. I agreed with/was part of the 44%. Just for the very sake of a pair of lucky socks for each child. Though I do really like the wearing the lucky socks for learning to drive--LOL!!! I already have some socks I'm looking forward to becoming "lucky". Thought maybe with the ones that I don't use/or even the pair that are the lucky ones, I could make into baby legs for future baby(ies).
I love getting to read about what you've done--like Circle + Bloom, and plan to take your reviews and put them to good use for myself :) So glad to learn of this "new" meditation cd! Thanks :)
All the best to you, Shannon, as you embark on this next journey.
ReplyDeleteOff topic but has anyone told you about the song Taylor Swift wrote for the Stand up to Cancer special this weekend. It's called Ronan, and it was written about a 4 year old with neuroblastoma. Not a dry eye anywhere after this song....
ReplyDeleteWishing you all the best, Shannon! I hope you find another pair of lucky socks. :)
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of positive thoughts as you jump back in to ttc! I'm excited for you! Thanks for the guided meditation reference - I found her on youtube and it was awesome (not fertility specific but relaxation)!
ReplyDeleteTotally irrelevant, but the first thing your post title made me think of was that kids' song Michael Finnegan. I don't know if you know it.
ReplyDeleteThere was an old man named Michael Finnegan
He had whiskers on his chinnegan
He went out then went back in again
Old Michael Finnegan. Begin again
(and then you start again)
So #2, I guess, is your Finnegan begin again? I hope it is a quick process this time.
That's exactly the song I was thinking of when I chose the post title! :) I once heard a verse that was something like, "He got drunk a drinkin' gin again, he fell down and bumped his chinnegan" LOL
DeleteI love the learning to drive comment! Good luck with the lucky socks search & with your TTC.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the 44% especially Tiara et al.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest with you, I'm glad I didn't know what I was going to be in for parenting as a choice mom of 2. If I did, I wouldn't have tried and I wouldn't have a very special member of our family. Sometimes you have to trust your heart, believe in the beauty of family and cautiously throw caution to the wind.
That is one awesome photo!
ReplyDeleteI am changing my vote (as if you care) to different socks. I like the idea of the kids getting the socks later - awesome idea!
Good luck with this cycle!
Thinking of you as you start T42. I hope this part is quick and smooth sailing.
ReplyDeleteI would have changed my vote too!! Get new socks!! When I read that about the dress the other day I thought...OH NO!! Get new socks! Don't listen to me!!...Can't wait to see the new socksies!!
ReplyDeleteThis post - exactly how I feel!! Funny, in my previous/first cycle for #2, as the nurse was drawing my blood, I was feeling how I really don't want all this again. Funny because I have no problems with needles and taking blood, but it was probably what it represents, all the ups and downs.
ReplyDelete