Doulas

Back when I decided to TTC, my sister (Jamie) made it known that she wanted to be my birth coach.  I was present for both of her deliveries (the second one while I was in my 2ww that turned into my first BFP) and it was such an amazing experience to be there.  I really want her there with my delivery, both for emotional support and so she can have the same experience that I did, so I’m so glad she wants to be by my side!

I also want a doula to be there as well, so I can have the emotional and physical support from both people. But how to choose a doula?  The local organization I’ve had bookmarked for 2 years has had a dwindling list of doulas on it the past six months, and today they still have the announcement on their site that the details are coming soon for the January “Meet the Doulas Tea”, which on January 31^st, doesn’t seem too promising. 

I already knew what sort of person I was hoping to find.  Somewhere along the line I’ve gone from being a woman who knew she wanted an epidural to being a woman who thinks maybe she’d like to try natural childbirth (watching Ricki Lake’s The Business of Being Born might have had something to do with this).  Because of that, I want a doula who will help me through natural childbirth, but be supportive if I give in and ask for an epidural.  Since internet wasn’t helping, I asked the nurses on labor and delivery if they had any suggestions.  They didn’t, but a midwife (with a practice other than my OB/Gyn) was in the room when I asked, and said she had a wonderful suggestion for a doula she’s worked with several times.  The doula’s name is Alex, and the midwife says she has been great, and even encouraged a mom to get an epidural once, when labor had gone on for 27 hours and the mom was just exhausted. 

I called Alex last week, and met her yesterday morning.  I love her.  She’s interesting, vibrant, knowledgeable and supportive.  This was just our initial consult visit, but she stayed and talked about all sorts of things for almost two hours, so I really got to know her, and she me.  I feel like I should be interviewing more potential candidates, but I know already that she’s a perfect fit for me, and so I hired her!

After talking with her, I feel even more confident that I’m going to go with natural childbirth, mainly because we talked about how we’d handle what to do during labor if I start to think I want an epidural.  To paraphrase what she said, “All women want an epidural at some point.  It’s my job to help you decide if you’ll be happy with your decision once the baby is born, or always wish you’d held out.”  We haven’t talked about anything else specific yet, but the for the epidural is simple. When I say I think I want an epidural, she’s going to ask me to try to hold out through one more contraction, and then reassess.  This is exactly what I do when I’m worn out at the end of a long run, and hoping to keep going that last 1-2 miles.  “I’ll keep running until I get to that tree, and then if I still want to stop, I will.”  And when I make it to the next tree, “I can keep going.  Now I’m going to try to make it to that fence post, and then I’ll reassess.”  There are times I can keep going, even though I thought I couldn’t, and times I know I have to stop, so this is a method I know will work for me.

I’m not going to be disappointed in myself if I do end up deciding to get an epidural.  But I will be disappointed if I don’t at least try to go without.  

I’m meeting with her again in a couple of weeks for a pre-delivery session where we’ll go over the stages of labor and come up with my birth plan, complete with what music I’d like her to have on her iPod.  I’ve seen lots of deliveries, but none that were natural, so I’m looking forward to it. 

But I still can’t believe that I’ve actually decided to try natural childbirth.  I wonder if someone has put something in my ice cream to make me this crazy.