Doctor's Day

Today is Doctor's Day - a day that's usually forgotten, but occasionally celebrated with a nice breakfast or a card from the office staff.

Well, this year, my office decided to go all out.  The morning started with me being greeted at the door with streamers and a sign that read "Happy Doctor's Day!"  When I walked in, Linda in medical records yelled to tell everyone I was here, and most of the staff showed up in my office so they could present me with my gifts.  My gifts were put inside the lovely bag pictured here - I guess it's no secret that I've been significantly affected by all the pregnancy hormones floating around inside me (it's such a shame that I'm single).

Inside the bag were two packages of Peeps (I love Peeps!) and a hot pink fuzzy hat.  The pink fuzzy hat was because I used to have a patient that I couldn't stand who wore a pink fuzzy hat every time I saw her - and I hated that hat.  While listening to the patient give me all the ridiculous excuses about why she couldn't check her sugar, follow her diet or take her insulin during her pregnancy, I used to have fantasies of ripping that pink hat off her head and ripping it to shreds.  And now I own one of those hats. I took a picture of me wearing it, but it's just too hideous to share.   You'll have to trust me.

Under the hat was the box pictured here - an inflatable husband.  Exactly what every girl needs, especially when accompanied by a riding crop to help "keep him in line" or perhaps to use if he gets too close to the Peeps.

As much as my job sucks some days lately, I really love the people that I work with!  Especially since they topped the day off with a huge, yummy cake.  Which I didn't have to share with my inflatable husband.

Thirty-Five

I have several posts in the works right now, but no time to spend actually putting any of them together just now.  But I had to post today, because it's another cool number day!  I'm officially 35 weeks today - and I have exactly 35 days left until my due date!  The only thing that would have made those numbers even cooler would be if today was 3/5.  But it's not.  So I'll have to content myself with two 35s, which are pretty damn awesome by themselves!

I have a little less than 5 weeks to my due date, and about the same amount of time left at work.  My plan is to work up until my due date, or until the baby is born, whichever comes first.  I have three more weeks of a slightly reduced schedule at the office, and one weekend of call, followed by the last two weeks having about 14 patients a day (instead of my usual 20-26).  I hope I can make it that far!  Even with the bad stuff going on at work, I still love my patients.  Including the 59 year-old who asked me for medication for his ED this morning, and then asked me out on a date.  And especially the little old ladies who chastise me daily for still wearing high heels.  I'm not sure that I'll have time to miss them, but I do feel a little guilty leaving them in the care of other doctors while I'm out for my 12 weeks of maternity leave.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and thought, "It's possible that I just went to the movies without having to arrange for a babysitter for the last time for the next 10-12 years."  I think it might finally be settling in that I'm going to have a baby soon!  You'd think after 35 weeks, I'd have gotten used to the idea already.

The Good and the Bad

First, a huge thank you for all the comments on my last post - there were some great suggestions, but a special shout out to Tashia, for giving me such great tips!  I'll keep you all posted on the Great Nanny Hunt of 2011.

I’ve had a horrible couple of days at work.  The details don’t really matter, but last night I actually had to make a list of all the reasons I want to stay where I am now, and not go for one of those jobs I get postcards about on a weekly basis.  One of those jobs that pays more, with less hours and no hospital call – out in the middle of nowhere, of course, but more money and less work?  It’s tempting.  I doubt I’d ever take the step to go elsewhere, there are too many great things about where I live, but I’m starting to wonder if I’m crazy to want to stay.

In the meantime, Chiquitito has been making his presence known even more than usual.  As he gets bigger, his movements are more palpable and visible – and it’s easier to tell what body part I’m feeling when I rub my belly.   There are times that it feels like he’s a blender – no, a mixer – in my belly, with his limbs like the beaters against my abdomen.  I’m not sure what he’s doing then, but it’s very abrupt intense movements, and I imagine him squirming around, trying to find a comfortable spot as he rearranges my insides.  My favorite part is when I rub his little butt (or what I think is his butt) and he moves his whole body into my hand.   And then I feel his little foot, or his back, or his knee and think – in less than 6 weeks I’ll know what all these parts look like, I’ll be cuddling him outside my body.  After years and years of dreaming of being a mom, it’s hard to believe that I’m so close to finally meeting my boy.

Doulas and Nannies

I had the day off today, my usual Friday off the week after being on call for the weekend.  I didn’t set my alarm last night because I was sure I’d wake up in plenty of time to make it to my hair cut appointment at 10:45.  And that’s how I ended up being 5 minutes late this morning.  I had no idea I had it in me to sleep until after 10am!  And now, 12 hours later, I’m just about ready for bed again, so I guess I really needed the sleep.

After lunch I met with my doula for our first prenatal appointment.  We started with a list of about 15 things that could possibly happen during delivery, and she asked me how I felt about each of them (everything from being offered narcotic pain meds to early cord clamping to timing of erythromycin eye drops).  And this is where I became convinced that I’d hired the right woman for the job, I love that she’s detail oriented and open minded.  I’m sure others have you have noticed this, that just like many in the medical profession can be closed minded and sure that their way is the only way, I’ve found that those in what could be loosely called the “alternative medicine” field are often just as narrow minded in their view points.  But Alex, my doula, is open to both sides of every issue.  And in the instances where I didn’t agree with her, she presented her side of things, and if I still didn’t agree, she respected my opinion and moved on.  The end result is we have a one page birth plan that has topics listed on the left, with a brief description next to it.  For example:

PAIN MEDS  If I need pain medication, I will ask for it.  I am not planning on an epidural.

SKIN TO SKIN Please place my baby directly on my abdomen – skin to skin immediately after birth.  I would like an hour with my baby, undisturbed to bond and breastfeed.

I like this birth plan, because it will take a nurse or doctor about 1 minute to read, as it’s simple and straight forward.  And because there aren’t lots of extra details about how I want to handle every phase of labor, it might actually be followed.

Now that I’ve really started talking about birth plans, I realized that I also really need to be thinking about childcare.  I already know I’m going to have to hire a nanny – an expense that is going drastically change my spending habits, but one I can’t avoid.  I’ve decided to go with care.com to find my nanny, and have ordered books on how to hire a nanny and how to write a good contract, but I’m lost when it comes to deciding on salaries and how that works with filing taxes.  I know I’ll have to hire an accountant or payroll service to actually do the work, but when websites quote average salaries, are they talking pre-tax or post?  I have no idea!  This would be SO much easier if I could just take him to the daycare that I can see from my back porch.

OB Visit and Week of Culture

I had my 33 week OB appointment this week – I’m still at every other week appointments, so at my next appointment I’ll be 35 weeks.  I still can't believe I'm in my 3rd trimester, much less getting that close to 35 weeks.  Today I saw a doctor I haven’t seen before as a patient, though she is actually the reason I switched to this practice when my former OB/Gyn (the one who was also a SMC and encouraged me to start looking at donors) moved out of state.  And guess what, it turns out my OB today has two children from donor sperm!  I don’t know the details behind it, but her kids are now 10 and 13.  She talked to me about how they deal with not having a dad (basically it’s a non-issue because she’s never kept it a secret, and always answered their questions), and how she chose her donor (there were no internet databases then). We then talked about my Braxton Hicks contractions and my back pain, then I signed consents for both a vaginal delivery and c-section.  Definitely the most interesting OB visit thus far (none of my ultrasounds have been at my OB’s office).  So far my weight gain has been 17 pounds, though that’s not counting the TTC and miscarriage weight gain, which was right at about 15 pounds.  Still not too bad, though it would probably be less if I had less opportunities to eat cake.

Last week was a crazy busy week, but a good one.  Early in the week, LB and I went to see George Winston in concert, where we had front row center seats.  We both have loved him since his music was part of our study routines in college and medical school, so it was so great to see him up close as he played.  I'm always surprised when I see him walk out on stage - a balding white guy with a bushy grey beard in a button down shirt and sock feet - he's someone you'd pass on the street and never imagine he could be capable of making such wonderful music.  Chiquitito loved it, too.  He didn’t react much to the slower stuff that I love so much, but he was bouncing all over the place with the jazz and blues stuff, and really loved the slack key guitar songs.  LB felt my belly at one point and agreed with me that he was moving in time to the music!

A few nights later I went to hear Ian Woodall talk about his experiences climbing Mt Everest (both south and north summits) and then returning to “bury” the body of a friend that was left near the north summit.  I did a internet search of him once I got home, and it turns out he’s a fairly controversial person, but whatever the truth may be, he’s a wonderful storyteller.  When he talked about his decision to climb Mt Everest the first time, he talked about how when we’re young, life is all about our dreams, but as we get older, life becomes more about our memories, but we should not forget that we’re never too old to make new memories.  Paraphrasing here:  “There comes a time where you have to follow your dreams, where you have to have faith and jump, hoping angels will catch you on the way down.”  

Baby Shower

Gift from my sister that made me cry

This weekend, my sister and my friends Heidi and Liz threw me the most wonderful baby shower.  There was lots of great food, music, laughter and love at my shower, but thankfully no games.  Instead of games, there were onsies and burp clothes to decorate with fabric markers, and socializing was encouraged because everyone had to wear name tags.  I had an eclectic group of friends there - work friends, my running partner, friends from college and medical school, and a group of my book club girls flew in for the weekend, which was unexpected and so wonderful!  They all spoiled me (and Chiquitito) with gifts, but the best part really was the fun we all had.  It was the best baby shower I've ever been to (and I'm not just saying that because it was for me!)  

After the shower, my book club girls and Alyson, my college friend, helped pack everything up and bring it upstairs (we had it in my building's party room) and then they proceeded to help me put everything away.  My new nursery bedding was washed, the rug laid down, pictures hung, the crib put together and clothes sorted.  By the end of the afternoon, almost everything was where it needed to be, and all I had to do was supervise.

During the entire weekend I was spoiled - if I needed something upstairs, someone would get it for me; if something needed to be moved, someone did else did it; if I dropped something, I was yelled at if I tried to get it before someone else could.  At one point I said, "You know, I do all this stuff for myself all the time," and the reply I got was, "Sure you do, but you should let us do it for you while we're here and we can help."

I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends!

Two of my friends being being silly and giving Chiquitito some love

Twenty Questions

Oak of The Acorn Chronicles tagged me this week with a 20 Questions meme.  Since I can’t resist a good meme (who can?), here are my answers!  But first, the rules.

Rule #1: the tagged person must write their answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

Rule #2: tag 4 people to do this quiz; they cannot refuse (ok, so nothing bad will happen if you don’t participate but I would love to see your answers). The tag-ee must state who tagged them.

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals or are they members of your family?

Definitely members of the family.  My cats sleep with me, and share the couch with me, and pretty much rule the house. Though I really wonder what role my cats will be in once Chiquitito gets here! 

2. If you could have a dream come true, what would it be?

That Chiquitito is born healthy and strong – and that I can find a way to give him a sister (or brother) someday in the not too distant future.

3. What would you do with a billion dollars?

I’d pay off my current mortgage and buy the adorable Victorian house around the corner from me that’s been for sale for over a year.  I’d also pay off my student loans that are currently going to be mine until I’m 65.  Then I’d start a college fund for mine and my sister’s children.

4. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

Loud music and fast driving.  Ice cream helps, too.

5. What is your bedtime routine?

Face washing, teeth brushing and lotion slathering (on face and belly), followed by a quick listen to Chiquitito on my doppler before going to sleep.  (Yes, I still listen.  Half the time he kicks the probe before I hear a heartbeat, and even then I don’t go to sleep until I’ve heard him.)  If I’m not too tired, I might throw in a pregnancy meditation, too, but lately I’ve been so tired I fall asleep in the middle of them anyway, so I’ve not bothered.

6. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your significant other? If you aren’t, what have you tried in the past few years to meet someone?

I’ve done a couple of online dating sites, lots of blind dates, and the traditional  - “do what you enjoy and you’ll meet someone that way” route.

You can see how well all those worked out for me! I’m done with the looking for a man thing for a while.  (And telling a single woman that she’ll find him when she stops looking is pretty much up there with telling an infertile to just relax and she’ll get pregnant.  Neither works.)

7. What kind of books do you read?

Fantasy and sci-fi, romance, chick-lit and anything that someone tells me is really good!  I love books.

8. How do you see yourself in 10 years?

I hope to be working less, living in a great house and raising several children – and I wouldn’t mind adding a husband to the mix.

9. What’s your fear? 

I’m afraid of making a mistake that costs someone their life (I’ve had more than one dream where I accidentally killed someone – and it’s never work related).  That something bad will happen to the children in my life. 

10. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to see outer space?

Define junk food.  Because ice cream is dairy, so I don’t think that qualifies as junk food.  So if I could keep ice cream, absolutely!  I’ve wanted to visit outer space ever since I first heard the planets exist.

11. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Hit snooze a few times.  Then check my email on my blackberry.  Pathetic.  

12. If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?  Or, if you’re single - if you could choose a significant other who looked like anyone in the world, who would it be?

George Clooney.  Or Ben Affleck.  It’s a toss up.  Probably George Clooney, since he’s proving he ages well. 

13. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

I love my first name, but I’ve never been particularly fond of my last name.  I’d change it to my grandmother’s maiden name if I could, I love that name.

14. If you had to choose between six months of sun or six months of rain, what would you choose?

As much as I love a dreary and rainy day every once in a while (perfect day to curl up on the couch with a good book, a couple of cats and chocolate) I’d definitely choose 6 months of sunshine!

15. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

Mexican food.  (especially if there would still be ice cream)

16. What is the thing you enjoy about blogging the most?

Connecting with other women who can relate to my experiences – and offer words of wisdom or comfort when needed.  It's also wonderful to be able to go back and read about where I've been over the past year.  

17. Do you prefer salty or sweet foods?

Sweet.  Always sweet.

18. What items are in your purse right now?

Lots of receipts.   A wallet without my credit card because I can’t remember where I put it after I got gas last time.  My gonal-F pen from my last cycle. 

19. If you had to choose between vacationing at the beach or in the mountains where would you go?

Mountains!  The beach is lovely, but I love the mountains.

20. What do you watch on television that you know you shouldn’t?

Somewhere in the past few years I’ve gone from someone with a television addition to someone who often forgets to watch tv.  But when I do watch tv, I usually watch movies I’ve seen over and over again when I should be doing something else.  (How many times do I really need to watch Speed?)

Thanks for the tag, Oak!  :)

And here are bloggers I'm tagging today (two preggos, a thinker and a trier): 

Abby at True Confessions of a Single Mama

Selkie Mom at Selkie Baby

PDXer To Be at Life Reboot

Single Mom 2B at Single Mom 2B

Ultrasound Pictures

One of the best things about my job is that I know my high risk OB and her office staff well.  So, even though I've officially been released from their practice, at my last visit one of the ultrasound techs offered to do a 4D ultrasound for me when I got to 30 weeks.  Today was that ultrasound - and it was so cool!  As soon as I saw his little face - and his chubby cheeks - I was in love!  He smiled, he grimaced, he yawned and he kicked around a lot while he was scanned, and we got it all on tape (well, DVD).

He's head down, so it wasn't my imagination that it was little hands I was feeling low down in my belly.  And it's definitely his foot that's been kicking me at the top of my stomach - I guess it won't be much longer before that kicking is getting me in the ribs.  He's a big boy - measuring 4lbs 4oz (almost 2kg), which puts him in the 77% percentile - yikes!  But aside from that, all looks good!

Isn't he cute?  

You might notice that the picture says that I'm 30w2d, when my ticker says I'm 30w3d.  That's because I've based my due date based on my date of conception (since that's pretty much a definite!)  My MFM has based my due date on the date of my last period, and my OB has based my due date on the size he measured at my very first ultrasound, where he measured 2 days behind (though he's consistently measured ahead of dates ever since then).  If you're keeping track, that means my due date is either 5/2, 5/3 or 5/4, depending on who you ask.  

I'm sticking with 5/2.