After some struggle to conceive (after years of being single and thinking I would never have a baby because I couldn't find a husband), and after a miscarriage, I already knew I was pretty damn blessed to have my boy. But those dark days in the hospital, imaging surgeries and chemo and of course, even imagining the worst case scenario, have made me even more acutely aware of how lucky I am. And that is something I never forget. Not for a second.
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| One of my fav pics ever - morning of surgery |
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| One of the few pics I can easily find that shows his two eye colors |
But mostly I notice how silly he is. How he loves to say, "I wuv you, Mommy!" and "Stay in bed and snuggle with Finn, Mommy!" And how quick he is to laugh, and how opinionated he is about things he really cares about. Like having all his pool toys in the pool at the same time.
His next MRI is September 6th. That's the MRI that his oncologist sees at the one where she stops worrying. Which means that I won't stop worrying, but maybe I'll worry a little less.
Yesterday I asked Finn if he wanted a baby brother or a baby sister. Usually he says he wants a baby sister. Yesterday he changed his mind. "I want a dog."
Maybe he'll get one of those, too.
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You are so right. It is not so much the active thinking about the experience, but that it changes who you are at your core. The perspective of "I have my child and I might not have" is like nothing else. What a gift your beautiful boy is. I can't wait to hear that his next scan is perfect.
ReplyDeleteHugs to Finn - he is such a charmer. I hope each day is happier and kinder to you, Finn and the wee one.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad he's been in the clear for so long. I can't imagine how scary this experience must be for you. I never noticed Finn has different colored eyes - it's kind of cool, just like David Bowie!
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe it's been two years (although I am sure it has felt like a lifetime to you). I love his response about wanting a dog. So cute!
ReplyDeleteSo grateful that you & Finn made it thru that dark time. Finn looks like such a fun loving character!! Thinking good thoughts for September 6
ReplyDeleteMuch love to your and your family. Finn is such an amazing little boy and you are a wonderful mother. You will be in our thoughts in September.
ReplyDeleteThinking about all that makes me want to give you both big hugs! I'm so grateful that everything has gone as well as it has. One of my friends has different colored eyes (actually, one iris is two different colors!), which I think is genetic for her, and she's always been proud of that quirk!
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't give birth to a dog! LOL
ReplyDeleteI cant believe that 2 years has passed - I remember following your story so closely at the time, it truly was every parent's worst nightmare. I admired your strength throughout. I also remember thinking that it was you really that recognised the problem - if you hadn't got the skills and knowledge you have it could have been such a different story. I hope you do worry less after September - that's not far away - what a huge milestone that will be.
Wow! Time does fly!! Here's to having a clear MRI in September!
ReplyDeleteA toddler, an infant and a puppy... you are a braver woman then me!! :)
I'm glad that Finn is doing well & fully expect a great MRI.
ReplyDeleteTwo years! WOW! You are both such fighters and survivors!
ReplyDeleteSo glad that Finn is healthy and doing great. I am sure his MRI will be just fine and you can worry less. You are also right that such an experience makes one grateful and appreciative of every single day.
ReplyDeleteThe strength that you (and Claire) have shown through the illnesses that your little ones have suffered through is really amazing and a lesson for all of us! Hope that Finn's upcoming MRI provides good news and maybe a little relief from what I imagine is a constant undercurrent of worry.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if you've been nominated before, but I just nominated you for the Liebster Award! http://omgtheresthree.com/?p=6109
ReplyDeleteNo mother should have to deal with stuff like that, but you handled it with grace.
ReplyDeleteI know someone else who just went through cancer with a kid and he said he still worries. The only thing I could think of saying was "I wouldn't think you were normal if you didn't".
I'm looking forward to good news from the next MRI.
Oh, and having just had a dog added to the family I'd recommend a dog a little older, say 1. It would still be puppyish but wouldn't (shouldn't) be pooping on the floors.
Love and hugs to that adorable baby boy. I'll keep my fingers crossed that Sept 6 brings even better news than your doctor hopes for.
ReplyDeleteFinn is adorable! And I love his name. Congrats on two years and he is doing so well :)
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who was born with cancer in his spine. He had surgery as an infant and is now 32 years old. He also has one blue eye and one green eye and only sweats on half of his body. Oh, and one of his hands is smaller than the other. We used to laugh about it when he was a kid. When we were sophomores, his mom threw a "Paul doesn't have cancer anymore" party. I guess it was the 15 year anniversary or something? it was special :)
Hooray for two healthy years!!! Way to go Finn!!!
ReplyDeleteWow. Has it been two years? It seems like yesterday. I'll keep you in my thoughts for this MRI.
ReplyDeletePrecious boy! Can't believe it's been two years. You two have come a long way together!
ReplyDeleteLmao, I want him to get a dog too. That is my favorite pic from the hospital too. He looks so sweet.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know about his different colored eyes. That's cool though. What a conversation starter when he gets older.
ReplyDeleteWell, does he want a girl or boy doggy, lol?