New OB Appointment

I finally had my new OB appointment today (at 13 weeks and 3 days!) and despite all the hassle getting the appointment scheduled, I think it was worth the wait.  Dr. L was as wonderful as everyone has said she is, and I really enjoyed our visit. She was completely fine with my management of my gestational diabetes, especially when I reassured her that I was discussing my sugars and diet with my partners, so I am getting input into how I managing it.

I explained to her that I wanted to avoid the use of the words donor egg on my chart as much as possible.  Everyone in the office knows who I am, and while I don't think anyone would deliberately snoop, it would be easy for someone to see that information, and then hard for them to keep it to themselves.  I asked her if she would be comfortable using the same language that another DE mommy friend of mine had on her OB records, "donor conceived."  And she was completely fine with that, and understood my reasoning without requiring a lengthy discussion.

The best part about our visit was when she discussed my delivery with Finn, and c-section versus VBAC.  Some of you might remember that I tried to do natural childbirth, and managed many hours on pitocin without an epidural, before finally giving in to the epidural, and then hours later to a c-section.  I told her about that, and that while I was really disappointed by not getting my natural delivery, I felt at peace with the entire process because my midwife and OB were so great.  I know they were certain by 6pm that I was not going to delivery vaginally.  But Finn was not in distress, and so they were comfortable waiting until it was clear to me as well.  I told Dr. L how much I appreciated that, but that I also felt badly for making such a long night for everyone taking care of me.  She reassured me that allowing someone to labor for hours was just part of the job - an important part of the job, as a good OB will realize how important the birth experience is for a mom.  It's amazing how those casual words have made me feel so much better about that part of Finn's delivery.

We then talked about VBAC.  The group that delivered Finn (who no longer deliver babies at all) were the only ones at my hospital that would do VBACs.  I had even considered going to a different hospital so I could try, but my insurance coverage is really bad for anything non-emergent that is done at another hospital, so I decided to stay here just for financial reasons.  Dr. L told me that in her training they encouraged VBACs, and she missed that part of practice, but the group had decided that the cost of malpractice insurance was just too high if they offered them, so they don't.  And then she said, "But based on your labor history with Finn, you'd be a poor VBAC candidate, and would probably end up with a second section, anyway."

Coming from a doctor who is actually pro-VBAC, that made me feel much better about my decision.  Of course, there's all the other pros that go along with a scheduled c-section, like being well rested and being able to plan for childcare for Finn and for my work schedule.  I do regret that I will never be able to experience natural childbirth, but that regret is no longer such a huge deal.  It's just a little regret, like saying no to that cute guy who asked me out years ago because I was dating someone else who later turned out to be a jerk.  (Though, come to think of it, that might actually be a bigger regret.)