Beta Results!

I did not POAS this morning, but I did for three mornings in a row, and saw darker lines each day.  I've wanted to post a picture like this one for over a year, and for awhile was worried I'd never get the chance.  But now, here it is, my three HPTs!

I went to my RE's office to have my beta drawn this morning, and at around 11am, I got a message from Libby, his nurse, "Hi Shannon!  I just wanted to let you know that I've got your lab results and I'm faxing them right now.  I'm not allowed to tell you anything, but I just had to tell you that it's good news!"  Then about 45 minutes later, my RE called himself.  He said he knew he wasn't the one to give me the news, but he just wanted to call and tell me congratulations himself.  I told him that I attributed his superior technique when performing my scratch biopsy last month to the success with this cycle.  And I forgot to ask him the actual results.

In the meantime, I'd posted to my FB SMC group about the RE's nurse calling me.  About the time Dr. M called me, I checked FB again, and saw a message from one of the SMCs in my group, asking if I'd meant to post that story to everyone on FB.  Because somehow I did.  Ooops.  Of course, I couldn't figure out how to erase it on my phone, so in a panic I called Jennie and got her to sign into my FB and erase it for me.  Of the 4 people who commented, two were SMCs, one was a friend who I know reads my blog and already knew the news, and the other was my doula.  Seven people liked my status, and I have no idea who those were, as it wouldn't show up once I'd erased it.  Seriously, I am not pregnant enough to have pregnancy brain yet!

Finally I heard from RBA - my beta is a respectable 251!  It was higher with Finn at a comparable day, but my betas were pretty high that time (and crazily, the lines on my HPT were much lighter - the darkest I got was lighter than my first HPT this pregnancy).

Over and over again over the past few years I've read blogs where the authors are pregnant and write about how much less worried they are about their second pregnancy, and how it doesn't consume their every waking thought.  I couldn't imagine that.  I really thought that because my first pregnancy ended in a loss, and this is really my third pregnancy, that I'd still be worried constantly.  And I do have some fears, of course, but I was able to forget multiple times today that I was waiting on my beta.  When I got my results I was happy, but not shaking with relief like I was almost 3 years ago when I got my first beta results with my second pregnancy.  But I don't forget I'm pregnant.  Not for a second.  That hasn't changed at all. It's a wonderful secret that I carry around with me every minute of the day. And it still seems a little surreal.  I'm pregnant.  Again.  I can hardly believe it.

Next beta is on Friday.  I'm not sure if I'll have to do another one on Monday, or if they'll be happy with just two before an ultrasound in about two weeks. I hope the two weeks past quickly!