Celebrate Good Times

Birthday Boy

Years ago, I attended the birthday party of a two year old whose mama went way overboard.  There were easily 60 people at this party, and the little girl (we'll call her A) had at least 30 presents to open.  I'll never forget the horror on her mom's face when, about 15 presents in, A decided she'd had enough and threw a fit when her mom wouldn't let me read her the book I'd given her.  "Great Shannon, your gift has stopped the entire party."  Two things struck me then.  First was the fact that if I'd had a little girl who was opening tons of toys, and yet it was the book she wanted to read, I'd be over the moon thrilled. The second was, what did this little two year old need such a huge party for?  The years passed, and every year her birthday was celebrated with another over the top celebration.  I can't help but wonder what a disappointment her future birthdays will be, when no one throws her a big party.  Even a few friends taking her out for a lovely dinner will seem like a let down.

At the other extreme are the people whose family have never made a big deal out of any occasion.  InBetween's post last week has the perfect example of what that can lead to - adults who don't think that celebrating special days with and for your loved ones is important.  Not taking the time to let do special things for your loved ones makes life pretty dull.  And can lead to some really hurt feelings.

With my family, I'd like to find a way to fall somewhere in between the two extremes.  I want to celebrate the special days in a way that teaches Finn that it's important to make a big deal out of these moments, and that it's possible to do that without a lot of expensive presents.  (Though a few presents can be a good thing!)  Not to mention that it'll be a lot of fun along the way, and create some good memories for us both.

So, Finn's birthday party was an epic failure as far as that whole "avoid over the extravaganza" plan goes.  There were 18 people there, a lot of presents and a professional photographer (we never got Finn's 6 month pictures taken, so my friend owed me a session).  It was a lot of fun, though.  The kids ran in and out of the house, playing hide and seek and tag, blowing bubbles and writing birthday messages for Finn with chalk on the driveway.  The adults drank beer, ate Mexican food and let the kids run wild.  It's not something I want to do every year, but as a first birthday party, it pretty much rocked.

Outdoor fun

This cake tasted much better than Finn's egg free, wheat free ickiness

Kids Wearing the Party Favors

Ollie's sad face (because he couldn't open presents, too)

Finn and Lillian

I've always wanted a party with balloons on the mailbox

We're not going to have a party like this every year.  And besides, I want Finn to learn to want to celebrate the special days for the ones he loves, too, not just his own special days.  Some things will be easy.  Like starting the tradition of the birthday flag.  Everyone (me, Finn, Nanny M, future sibling) will get the birthday flag flown for their birthday week.  When he's older, we'll even fly the birthday flag for other family and friends if he decides it's a good idea.

Other things will be harder - it seems a little weird to be the one to make my birthday or Mother's Day a big deal.  It would be easier with a husband to do these things, but without one, I'm not exactly sure what to do, aside from giving Nanny M some money to take Finn shopping and let him pick out a gift for me.

What traditions does your family have (or do you hope to have) that you love?  How are you celebrating the big days with your kids?  Oh, and what other days have you found to make a celebration out of that aren't the obvious?