40 Weeks!

The ticker says forty weeks, but no baby yet! I can’t honestly say that I’ve given it my all – I didn’t go out clubbing this weekend, and I definitely didn’t get lucky. But I have done a lot of other things: I’ve been for a walk every day since Saturday (and actually made it out for two walks today). I’ve bounced on my yoga ball, stimulated my nipples and pressed on acupuncture points that are supposed to help dilate the cervix. Today I had an acupuncture appointment where she used electric stimulation on two of the points to help get labor going, in addition to a whole lot more needles elsewhere than I’ve seen since I was trying to conceive. Oh, and Heidi (who is staying with me for the week – yay!) made us spicy chili for dinner tonight. I think that all I’m missing is sperm and castor oil to round out the list of things that are said to bring on labor. And I am NOT doing castor oil! (Still open to the idea of sperm, if you know of anyone who might want to volunteer.)

Last night I woke up repeatedly with contractions, and every time I thought, “Oh, is this it?” and every time that thought was followed by a huge sense of dread and the thought “OMG. Is this it?”

I thought about that on my morning walk today. And I thought about what I’d read in Ina Mae’s Guide to Childbirth, about how emotions of the mother can often affect labor and delivery, with particularly negative emotions actually causing labor to stall or stop completely, and positive emotions having the exact opposite effect.

I don’t think that I haven’t gone into labor yet just because of my negative thoughts, but I do wonder if it’s contributing to slowing things down. And so I’ve decided to reframe my thinking about labor and delivery. I’m nervous about it, and a little scared, but I’m also so excited to finally experience this part of life. Women have been delivering babies for centuries, and I’m so grateful to have the chance to have the experience as well. I’m actually curious to know what it will be like to go through it, and when you think about it, it’s only a day or maybe two out of an entire lifetime. It’s the prize that comes after labor and delivery that this is all about, and I’m really looking forward to finally meeting my son! So every time I wake up tonight and think “Is this it?”, I’m going to try to follow that up with “Oh, I REALLY hope this is it!” And with every contraction I’m going to try to tap into the whole mind-body connection and imagine my cervix thinning and dilating, and Chiquitito moving down and into a position that will finally induce labor.

In the meantime, I’ll try to post daily until he finally decides to make an appearance – and then I’ll be taking my computer with me to the hospital, so hopefully there will be updates!