Fleeting Moments

Finn brought a cold home with him from our Thanksgiving weekend at the beach.  I can hear him snoring and snorting from here - he's in my bed, because he doesn't feel well and wanted to sleep with me.  In the meantime, Zachary decided (for the second night in a row) that he didn't want to sleep, despite the fact that he's clearly exhausted, and showing the first signs of his brother's cold.

I'm behind on work, need to take out the garbage, am tired, grumpy and then my damn cat wouldn't stop howling (she's feeling neglected because we were gone this weekend, and clearly as irritated as I am that Zachary wouldn't go to sleep).  All the recipe for a mommy meltdown.

So I put Z on the floor, made myself a huge bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce and turned on HGTV.  I'd calmed down enough once the ice cream was finished to pick up Zachary and cuddle his soft and pudgy body against my chest.  It took 20 minutes for him to finally relax enough to close his eyes (while the damn cat continued to howl - what the hell?) and then another 10 minutes for his body to fully fall asleep, and start that sweet little twitching babies do when they first start to dream at night.

I felt his little body move and remembered the countless nights I held Finn until he relaxed into sleep the same way.  Those nights seemed like they'd never end, and yet I can't remember the last night Finn needed me to rock him to sleep.  I ran my hand over Zachary's chubby belly and marveled yet again at his soft baby skin, the warm puff of his breath on my arm, and the sweet curve of his lips.  I took a mental picture of this perfect moment...this perfect moment that was made possible by an incredibly frustrating evening.

My work isn't done.  The garbage is out, but my cyberMonday shopping didn't happen.  The dishes are clean, but they aren't put away.  It's over an hour past my self mandated bedtime and tomorrow is going to suck because I'm just so tired.

Tonight I'm thankful for sweet, fleeting little moments like this one to make all the bad stuff worth it.  Though I'm not really sure where I'm supposed to sleep.