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Today, that little ball of cells is three and half months old, wearing 6 month sized clothes, full of smiles and happiest when he's in the center of the action. Our family is better and stronger because he's here, and I look at him and wonder how I could have ever worried about using an egg donor to conceive him.
I don't even think about his genetic origins often, usually only when someone mentions they think he looks like me, or when I wonder what he's going to look like or be like as he gets older. Not that knowing where a person gets their genes from tells you those things, it just tends to be around then that I think about the fact that he's not from my egg, that he and Finn are technically only half brothers.
Watching the bond between the two of them develop, it's clear there's nothing "half" about their relationship. Zachary watches Finn whenever he's in the room, and Finn can't keep from touching Zachary whenever he's close by. I was blowing raspberries on Zachary's tummy earlier today and Finn said, "Hey, what are you doing to my baby?" Yes, he's a little possessive.
My bond with Zachary has been different from my bond with Finn. It took longer to develop when I was pregnant, and now that he's here, the simple fact is, Finn takes up a lot of my attention. He's walking, talking, being silly and misbehaving, while (until the past few weeks) Zachary has just been a noisy observer.
As Zachary becomes more and more interactive, I find myself really enjoying spending time with him, making him laugh and watching as he grows and changes every day. I've loved him from the second he came into my life on May 26, 2013, but now I've found that I've fallen in love with him.
My cup runneth over.
Posts
Just beautiful Shannon!! Your love for Zachary just emanates from this post!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so true that once our babies are here we rarely think about their origins - donor egg, sperm, adopted, none of it matters, they're our babies! Or, our toddlers' babies, apparently :)
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you = )
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post, thank you. I had wondered if the fact that Zachary was conceived differently had changed anything for you, but didn't want to ask. It's good to know what lies on the path ahead!
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you posted on this topic. I think a lot of women hesitate to use DE because they are worried they won't love the child the same way. Clearly, you have a beautiful, happy, and loved family!
ReplyDeleteWhatever his genetic origins, he DOES look a lot like you and like Finn. Which is nice, although I know you'd both love him just as much if he didn't.
ReplyDeleteWhen C was littler, I found it hard to compare my relationship with a child I knew (J) with one I really didn't know yet (C). As she gets older, though, that problem goes away. So nice to see that happening for you and Zachary, too.
Beautiful post, love it.
ReplyDeleteI keep catchin myself thinking how much Zachary looks like you then it hit me, I think it's because he looks so much like Finn who in turn I see so much of you in. A beautiful combination.
Beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteI love this post - sounds sweet how you are developing your bond more and more with Zachary. I can imagine it is wonderful to not have the stress and appreciate this stage, as you weren't totally able to do with Finn. And Finn sounds like he really loves his brother! Aw
ReplyDeleteI think it's neat that your boys share genes from the male component of baby-making, but not from the female component. They share genes with each other in the one way, and they share their lives because of YOU. They grew from different genetic eggs, but both grew inside of you and are becoming who they are because of the family you've built for them. Your family is a beautiful blend of nature and nurture, and everything in between! I marvel at what you've done - and how you've made it happen on your terms every step of the way!
ReplyDeleteThey are just so precious! Isn't it funny how all of that thinking about how they "came to be" is not really important once they are here? Those of us who choose to be mothers and wanted to be one so badly don't care how we got the title of Mother, all we care about is that someone calls us Mom.
ReplyDeletebeautiful!!!!
ReplyDelete