Big Brother Finn

Holding my 2 boys together for the first time

What an amazing, wonderful and exhausting 14 days it has been.  I want to share it all here, so I don't forget a thing, but there's so much to say that I find myself deciding to go to bed or watch TV instead of starting a post.  So I'm just going to start with writing about how Finn is adjusting, and then tackle the other posts over the next few days.  (And I apologize in advance for the how disjointed this post probably will be!)

Finn is an amazing big brother.  Don't get me wrong - he's 2 (almost 3!) so he has his moments, but overall, he's just wonderful with Zachary.  He loves to hold him, to kiss on him and to comment over and over again, "He likes me!" even when Zachary is fussing because he's tired of his big brother kissing on his feet.

He likes me! 

First time holding his baby brother

For the first week or so (time is fuzzy already, so I don't remember for sure), Finn didn't come to bed with me in the middle of the night, like he usually does.  Instead he would sleep in his own bed until he was awake for the morning, and then come into my bedroom, crawl into bed, and then cuddle with Zachary.  Then one night when I was up feeding Zachary, I thought I heard Finn in the playroom, but he never came into my room.  I was so tired I didn't really think anymore about it, but the next time I was up for a feeding, I decided to investigate.  I went into the playroom and found Finn asleep on the couch.  I thought about leaving him there, then decided to go ahead and wake him to come into my room.  I think he wasn't quite sure if he was welcome in my room or not, now that Zachary is here.  So as soon as I asked him if he wanted to come to bed with me, he woke up and said yes.  He toddled into my room and went right to sleep.  Zachary was pretty fussy a few nights ago and neither of us got much sleep, and I know we bothered Finn.  I was sure that would put him off wanting to come to bed with us anymore, but he's still making his way into my room in the early morning hours.




I'm not sure which is winning out - the amazingly wonderful feeling of sleeping with my boys on either side of me, or the uncomfortable feeling in my neck and shoulders from trying to sleep between my two boys.

Nanny M has come several times for the entire day, and few days for a half day since we've been home, and has been able to give extra attention to Finn while I focus on Zachary. My parents are here now, and before them our amazing Heidi was here, and they have made sure he's felt lots of love and affection.  I'm starting to feel stronger and more ready to be able to do more with Finn, so I'm hoping that in the next week or so I'll be the one taking him for "adventures" outside while Zachary stays at home.  I think Finn would be doing ok if it was just the two of us, but having the extra sets of hands (and eyes) has made the transition much easier.

Finn is fascinated by breast feeding.  We talked about it before Zachary was born, and looked at pictures of Finn when he was first born and nursing, so he was prepared.  He often wants to come watch, and several times has asked, "can I touch your boobies?"  (I know, I should teach him to call them breasts, but he sounds so cute when he calls them boobies.) The first few days we were home it seemed he told everyone who came to visit, "Baby Zachary eats milk from Mommy's boobies!"  And whenever Zachary cries, Finn will usually look at me and say, "I think Baby Zachary needs a little help from your boobies, Mommy."

My favorite selfie ever

picture by Finn

Well, half the time Finn calls him Baby Zachary.  The other half he calls him Baby Chimichanga.  He's started to correct himself some, but I bet he'll be Chimichanga for a few more months at least.  In the hospital, Heidi and I had no problem calling him Zachary, but once we got home, I found myself calling him Chimichanga all the time myself.  Poor kid.

We read a lot of big brother/new baby books before Zachary was born.  Our favorite was What Baby Needs - it's written by Drs. Sears, and includes baby wearing, skin to skin, nursing and cosleeping as topics.  It was pretty easy to edit out the dad references, and overall it did a good job of preparing Finn for what the new baby was going to be like, while including some talking guides for parents.  There were other books that were fine, but this book was the only one he asked for on a regular basis, and the only one that really seemed to be a good preparation for what it would mean to have a new baby in the house.

another selfie

And now it's time to feed the baby and hope for a decent night's sleep!