Letter to Finn

Dear Finn,

In just a few days, we're going to go from a family of two to a family of 3.  I'm so excited, and also a little sad, as I've so loved being a Mommy and Finn family, and will miss some of our one on one time together.  I do know that you will be a great big brother, and I'm so very happy that I'm going to be able to watch you grow into that role, and I know that expanding our family was the right thing to do for us both.  I can already feel the love in our house growing and expanding as we prepare to make room for your baby brother, and I just can't wait to see how the next years unfold.

You are a smart, and funny and very opinionated little boy (who these days will correct anyone who calls you a baby, a little boy or a big boy by saying, "I'm not a baby, I'm a big brother!) and you are so full of love and concern for others.  I love watching you discover your ability to make others laugh and feel happy, and also start to understand that sometimes your actions can make people sad.  One of my favorite things you do is after you've been especially difficult and then tried to behave better - you look at me with a huge grin on your face and say, "Are you happy, Mommy?" Even when I'm not happy, it always makes me smile. Or when I'm feeling very irritated at you and you look up and say, "Smile, Mommy!"

You talk a mile a minute, sometimes so fast that your mouth can't keep up with your brain and it takes you forever to get out what you're trying to say. You sing all the time these days, and sometimes even let me sing along, too.  Our bedtime routine continues to be challenging, but one part I love is when I snuggle with you in your bed and tell you one last story, always something I made up based on what you want me to tell you.  It started with me telling you your story of how you came to be born, and then changes on a regular basis based on your mood.  I've told you stories about Simba, Mickey, and Donald (all different stories), as well as the story of building and moving into our new house, and lately the story of what will happen when Baby Chimichanga comes home.

Your favorite books these days are Hands Hands Fingers Thumb (which you almost have memorized), What Baby Needs (I love to watch you go through the book and hear what you say about each page) and Green Eggs and Ham.  It's so fun to hear you talk about the books as we read them, and discuss what's going on in each picture.  And I love when you giggle at the same parts every time we read them. I also love that I can count on your favorite books being completely different in just a couple of weeks.

Enjoying the trace of snow in our backyard

It's so fun to ask you questions, as sometimes you'll seriously think about the answer, putting your finger on your cheek and saying, "Let me see now..." before giving your answer, and sometimes you'll act bewildered and say, "I don't know, Mommy!" while clearly reveling in the fact that you're just teasing.

You are such an affectionate little boy.  I will never tire of hearing you say, "I love you, Mommy" for no reason at all.  And I've lost track of the number of times I've been late for work because you asked me to get back in bed and snuggle with you instead of actually getting ready.  I think the construction guys working on the houses on either side of us get a kick out of you as you wave goodbye to me in the morning, and to your Nanny M in the evening - especially when you yell things like, "Drive carefully, Mommy!" and "Don't get wet!" when there's not a cloud in the sky.

I'm constantly amazed by the foods you will eat, and have really enjoyed introducing you to cooking. We made this chicken chili recipe together a few weeks ago, and that moment when you took your first bite and then said, "Wow, this is good, Mommy!" made my week.  And then you said, "Who made this for us?" and acted so proud when I said that we made it together.  At this rate you'll be a better cook than I am by the time you're 10 - and you already have a wider palate than I do.

This next week is going to be hard.  Because of the flu outbreak, you won't be able to come see me in the hospital, so it could be 2 or 3 days before I get to see you after I leave for the hospital on Friday morning. I know I'll cry when I leave, but I hope that you don't see it...I don't want you to worry that I'm sad, because I'm not really.  Ok, I am a little, but mainly because I've not been away from you for this long before. I keep reminding myself that it's leading up to 3 whole months that we get to spend together, so the few days apart will be worth it.  I know it will be a tough adjustment for you to get used to a little baby in the house, but I'll do my best to make it easy for you, and help you grow into your big brother role without too much stress.

After I finish this letter, I'm going to go into your room like I do every night before I go to bed and kiss your little cheek, and resist the temptation to snuggle with you in your bed.  I love you so much, my sweet boy!