Thank You!

Picture Nanny M texted to me today

I owe a huge thanks to all of you who posted such nice, uplifting messages on my last post. And a huge thank you to all of you who were nice enough to keep your mouths shut, instead of yelling at me to quit my whining (even though I deserved it!) The commiseration responses made me feel so much better for feeling the way I do - and the ones that reminded me that I do have a lot more to do these days than garden gave me permission to not feel so guilty about not having the cutest home on the block. Two comments in particular have really stuck with me, and I've been thinking about them over and over again. Evelyn's comment, "when you finally do move out of that house you'll miss it for all the good memories it'll have." And Abby's comment, "if people could see how full-to-bursting your house is with LOVE, everyone would want to live there!"

Hit me over the head with a hammer - here I am with the VERY THING I have wanted my entire life, and I'm feeling down because my house isn't perfect. I know it's normal to feel this way, but I think I've indulged those feelings long enough, and it's time to move on.

Ever since I moved here, I've had this constant thought, "this house is only temporary." Which is true, but temporary could end up being 3-5 years, easily. So instead of feeling like I have to get everything done right now, or that I won't try to make everything the way I like it since I won't be here long, I'm going to work on gradually finding things that fit this house. Not expensive things (I do have a boy, after all) but things that I like that work here; adding my own touches, as Surly Mama said. MN's suggestion about Craig's List was brilliant, too.  And the fall season of consignment sales is just around the corner!

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 On a completely different note - I'm a pretty firm believer in the power of the mind body connection. Not in the "if you believe it enough, you will get pregnant" sort of way, but more in the way of "every little bit helps". I realized today that for the past 14 months I've concentrated all the positive energy in my body to making milk. And now that it's time to start thinking about my ovaries again, it's hard to do! It's almost a physical act, turning my thoughts towards growing healthy eggs. I've been doing femoral massage every night, I'm listening to Circle + Bloom's precycle meditations, and taking my supplements again which are all helping, but it's still a conscious effort to steer my energy to my reproductive organs.  After over a year of thinking only of growing healthy eggs before I started trying to conceive the first time, it's weird how foreign it feels to me now.