Cancer Sucks

When Finn was first diagnosed with neuroblastoma, my sister's neighbors reached out to her and offered to help me in any way they could.  Their 5 year old little boy, Joey, has been fighting neuroblastoma since he was 2.  He's been in multiple clinical trials, traveled to Sloan-Kettering in New York and Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, in between which he's a little boy who loves to play with my nephew D, goes to kindergarden and pesters his two older sisters.

He had over two years of clear scans, and then, in 2010, scans showed he'd relapsed.  This week, his parents learned that his cancer has progressed again, and were told that they could consider one more round of chemo, but it would only be prolonging the inevitable.

How can a parent face a decision like that?  And how does a parent explain this to their children, his friends, his sisters?

Children aren't supposed to die before their parents.  Even before becoming a parent, we all know that to be true.  I'm pretty sure that once becoming a parent, it's normal to feel the loss, or impending loss, of a child even more strongly.  But I cannot believe how much this has upset me.  I haven't cried like this since those first nights in the hospital last August, and I don't really know Joey or his parents.  I guess this just brings home that underlying fear that one of Finn's scans will show something bad.

Finn's cancer is totally different - they might as well be called different things, since the behavior of his cancer is/has been so different from that of someone who is older when diagnosed.  But they aren't called different things.  And so while I'm crying for Joey and his parents, I'm also crying for my own fear for Finn.

This week I got in the mail a schedule of all of Finn's planned MRIs.  He's going to get every 3 month MRIs through July, then it's going to go to every 6 months for a few years before changing to scans once a year until he's 7 years old.  Joey never made it out of the every 3 months schedule.  His cancer is that different.

Please say a little prayer for Joey and his family tonight.  I can't imagine how they're facing what they know is coming in the days ahead, and my heart breaks for them.