Hello 2012!

New Year's Eve at the Beach

2011 had some amazing highs and some amazing lows, but in the end, the highs have outweighed the lows.  For the last day of 2011, we took Finn to the beach where he ate sand (and apparently ate some of that weed that's in his hand in this picture, if what I found in his poop this morning is any indication).  We had dinner at 5:30, so Finn could be home in time for bed by 7, and I was in bed by 10:30.  I did wake up just before midnight, and welcomed in the new year watching my boy sleep.

I'm lucky in so many ways, and yet I still find myself feeling stressed and overwhelmed not because of motherhood, but because of my job.  I love my job and I can't imagine doing anything else.  And yet my job is making me miserable.  I have no idea how to fix it, but I'm going to figure out a way to make it better.  I have plenty of time with Finn, but I need time for myself, too.  I want to be able to blog and read and watch movies without feeling guilty (like I am now) for not doing paperwork instead.  If I could leave work every day with just 30 minutes of paperwork to do in the evening, instead of 3 hours, I would be in heaven.  I really have no idea how I'm going to do it, but I'm going to find a way.

A much easier resolution to keep for 2012 is eating healthier.  I lost back to my pre-pregnancy weight within 2 weeks of having Finn.  After his surgery, I was on my way to losing my TTC weight as well.  And then something went wrong (namely my diet) and now I'm back to where I was in June, or maybe even worse.  I've been eating horribly, so just going back to healthy eating is likely to help me lose the weight. I'm not going to stress the pounds, or even think of it as a weight loss diet, I don't think I'm capable of that right now.  But I can choose fruits and veggies over junk food, and skip the desserts at lunch most days, and stop eating entire boxes of Peeps in one sitting.  That I can do.

As part of their New Year's reflections and resolutions, a lot of SMC bloggers were posting today about living in the moment.  We try so hard to have children, but then it's easy to get caught up in the stress of daily life and forget to stop and appreciate our miracles.  That's what I thought about at midnight last night, was what a miracle Finn is, in so many ways, and I'm so lucky.  Claire's resolution is my favorite, and one that I'm going to try to keep too: "To face each and every day with joy and an open heart."

Happy New Year!