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| Look at that squishy face! |
It's not even that I find the life of a stay at home mom to an 8 week old particularly stimulating - but it's that he changes every single day, and I love being able to see that. This morning he woke up at 8 (after a particularly wakeful night - every one hour feeds at one point) and played for an hour or so. I showered when he started to get sleepy, then rocked him to sleep. At 11, I met 3 other moms in the media room of my building for a "playdate". Finn was the youngest - the others were 7 months, 10 months and a year, so I held him and watched the others play while talking babies with the other moms. We had lunch around noon, then did some shopping at Target, did some laundry at home and had a nice little nap. Yesterday was even less eventful - aside from a lovely lunch with bunintheoven (and her cute little baby bump!), we did nothing more than sleep, eat, read, play and go for a walk.
I can imagine a time where this might get boring, but by then Finn will be even more interesting and interactive, so we'd have more things to do together. So maybe it would never get boring.
I never, ever thought I'd want the life of a stay at home mom. But right now, even a part-time stay at home mom sounds wonderful. If anyone knows of how I might somehow come into enough money that I could do that, let me know! (And don't say stripping, that was already suggested, and while my boobs are pretty spectacular right now, the rest of me isn't - and the pizza I'm about to eat is going to help ensure that's not going to change any time soon.)
Ok, I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself now. Most of us have to work, it's not like I'm in the minority here. I'm lucky enough to have my little guy, I need to focus on that. And maybe finding us a sugar daddy. (Not really sure if I'm joking about that or not.)
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It's not going to be easy returning to work... but know that Finn will be thinking about you every minute, and I am sure he is going to be excited when he sees his mama. You are doing great!!!
ReplyDeleteI know it won't be easy, especially at first, but you do like and trust the nanny, right? He'll be safe and sound and will be waiting for you every evening.
ReplyDeleteI don't envy you right now - I remember those feelings vividly (and, um, you might not want to read my blog today). The first week back at work I cried every day. After that I cried about once a week for a few weeks, and then I was okay. One good bit of advice I got was this: at the beginning, don't try to do anything other than work and take care of Finn. Don't worry about housecleaning, exercise, hobbies, etc. Just wait until you feel ready to take them on again.
ReplyDeleteCould you do longer days but fewer days. So maybe have fours days on anf three days off.
ReplyDeleteI am a couple weeks behind you guys but I am already having the same thoughts/anxieties. I even 'went to work' (I stopped by one of the construction sites close to my home) but I had Elsie with me and I could leave whenever I wanted to. And while it was nice on some level to go back to worrying about getting an unruly contractor back on track instead of when/how much we were eating, pooping etc, I still can't imagine leaving her all day.
ReplyDeleteI also can't imagine functioning without my mid-afternoon nap!!
That's tough...is there any flexibility possible for your position? I know you're in a particularly tough field for that but my doctor just started flexitime.
ReplyDeleteI don't know: just a thought...
I'm pretty sure we're genetically wired to NOT want to physically separate from our infants. Just makes no sense evolutionarily. Oh how hard it was to leave Fiona at daycare those first weeks back at work. It sucks, and IMO 3 months old is way way too young (but that's what I signed up for as a SMC who is committed to having a good job). It gets easier and yes, by the time Fiona was closer to 1 year old, I welcomed time away and breaks. Now with a 2 year old, I treasure my adult work time (and know how enriching her days at "school" are). Best of luck with this - its just hard.
ReplyDeleteIt's so soon to go back. This is one of the things we're lucky with in Canada. One year maternity leave.
ReplyDeleteIs there any way you can get your nanny to bring Finn to work for lunch? It's short but it's something.
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ReplyDeleteYou articulated this so beautifully, and I can't imagine how hard it is but I'm glad you have M The Nanny to help make the transition a little (?) easier. I like Evelyn's idea about having M bring him to work. At least for the first week?
ReplyDeleteI also like her idea of Canada - that's a good plan for #2. Montreal is beautiful, a direct flight from NYC, and Finn would learn to speak French. (Well, Quebequois)
He's so cute! Sorry you have to go back to work so soon.
ReplyDeleteIt's so unfair that you have to go back to work so soon. I'm dreading having to go back but am so grateful that I get a year.
ReplyDeleteFinn is so adorable!!
Love the picture, and I'm sad that you have to go back. If it helps, it does get easier.
ReplyDeleteLOVE that smiley face!!!
ReplyDeleteI understand your angst. It's so hard to leave them, even with someone you really trust. I like the idea of having the nanny bring him by for a while, it would be great for a feeding or something.
ReplyDeleteHe's super duper cute in that onesie, btw!! ;)