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| Deep conversation with Elvis (the elephant) |
Thank you for such great responses to my last post, both here and via email - it's given me a lot to think about. Gwinne and several others mentioned donor eggs - and that's actually something I'd be very open to (how sad is it that going the DE route seems easier than adoption?) I don't want to plan on going that route to start with, though. I think I'd be comfortable going the DE route if I tried several cycles (at least) with my own eggs and was not successful. That being said, the more I think about it, the more I know I'd feel best going through IVF with at least one fresh transfer - it just seems that would give me the best opportunity to decide when I was truly done trying with my own eggs.
It was also mentioned that I should consider IUI before going to IVF. I have thought of that, and it is something I'll discuss with my RE, since I did get pregnant on 2 out of 4 IUI cycles - but that's already almost a year ago, and will have been almost two years before the earliest date I'd start trying to conceive again. BB bringing that up did prompt me to call Fairf.ax Cry.obank to check on my donor, who's been taken off their website. It turns out he was taken off because he's reached his family limit, but does still have vials available. I currently have 2 ICI vials at my RE's office - and now I'm considering buying a few more and keeping them at the bank so I won't have to worry about running out. We all know they aren't cheap, but if I store them with the bank, I can always sell them back if I end up not needing them.
While the thought of having two children in diapers in my small apartment scares me, the thought of actively trying to conceive next spring/summer feels more right to me than just freezing embryos and planning for a pregnancy in a few years. It's not ideal, but I feel like it gives me the most options and flexibility. I may change my mind, especially after talking to my RE in October, but for now, I think that's my working plan. Which means my goal over the next 9 months is to work on getting back into shape, losing my last TTC weight and being healthy. Well, that, and raise an infant. Unlike last time, I'm not going to talk about this to the people around me at work, though. It was too much pressure, having everyone at work know what was going on, and I don't want to deal with that again.
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I must have missed your last post! This sounds like a win win. You can get more vials - so perhaps no need to rush immediately to IVF. You enjoyed being pregnant - and Finn has turned out such a success I am sure that the next one will too! If you are already paying for a nanny for Finn, you will have no extra cost for childcare - and very often siblings close in age love playing together!
ReplyDeleteAgain it's great that although our options are limited at our age, the technology is so amazing that there are still SOME options, far more than even a few years ago. I also balk at the thought of having to handle a baby and a toddler at the same time, but unfortunately age is not on my side - there's no waiting until the first one is in school to try for another (assuming there is even one, for me)
ReplyDeleteI think your plan sounds wise and wonderful--and removes any spector of regret or wonder in not trying with your own eggs.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you will be just fine with two young kids... Maybe your RE will recommend one or two IUIs first (depending on your FSH and AMH)before proceeding to IVF. With IVF, you may have some embryos to freeze for Baby #3.:)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that donor eggs seems easier than adoption. It's kind of sad.
ReplyDeleteI'm also really glad you are thinking of this now, because if you wait until the time is right it might end up being too late.
I've only discussed this with my supervisors at work and I'm really happy I did that. Neither asks questions and I don't have to give everyone bad news when I really don't even want to be at work. It's made it easier on me (at times I've almost wished I hadn't told anyone but I guess that's a little unrealistic).
I haven't even hit the second trimester with this pregnancy and I'm already thinking about number 2. I would love to have a sibling for this little one, but know my time is limited. As I'm moving into the new house I keep thinking "can I fit 2 kids in here." I've basically made the decision that on my 41st birthday I'll call my RE to start talk about #2. This little one will be about 16 months at the time. I have sisters that are 11 months apart, and a niece and nephew that are 16 months apart. In both cases it was tough the first year, but they grew up to be very close.
ReplyDeleteI love that photo of Finn "talking" to Elvis! Adorable!
ReplyDeleteAnd you sound very sure of yourself, and peaceful in your decision... and that's what matters! Awesome!
Your plan sounds smart. And that picture of Finn made my ovaries hurt. In a good way :)
ReplyDeleteGreat plan (similar to the one I had). I found it helpful to also think about how old I would be when my kids went to college - the longer I waited on this end, the older I would be at that end! When you are close to 60 you may be very happy you had #2 a bit earlier - at least that has been my thinking!
ReplyDeleteYeah yeah it will be hard, if "easy" was our priority we wouldn't have embarked on single motherhood by choice!
Oh and by the way, keep posting pics of Finn. He is soooo stinkin cute and getting me very excited to have an infant again!
ReplyDeleteLord, he's a cute baby! Makes me want to have another.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I'm a little late getting over here so I had to go back and read your first post, and I have an opinion, which is nothing new.
I think IVF next year is your best bet, and I'll bet it works too. Something about those second babies is so much easier.
My gosh that photo of Finn & Elvis is precious!
ReplyDeleteA fresh IVF transfer sounds like a very good option.
I don't really have anything to add that these ladies haven't already said but I'm glad that you will be following your dream and trying for number two!
ReplyDeleteSounds like good plans :-)
ReplyDeleteI'd really love to have another child, but I think I'll wait a year.. (and if it won't work out, so be it, I just can't now). One of the nice things about trying soon, is the possibilty of having two kids close in age. Yes, probably not so nice for the mama for the first few years, but later on.. Anyway, good luck!