Father's Day

My son doesn't have a dad.  He doesn't even have a father or a biological father.  He has a donor.  To me, that's an important distinction.  The words dad or father imply that an emotional and physical connection existed at some point, and even the term "biological father" implies a physical connection related to conception.  Because of those implications, if I were to say that my son has a dad or a biological father, then I feel like I'm also saying that there is a man who is missing from Finn's life.  And of course, there isn't.  His donor is a law student who donated some specimens without ever knowing what families he would be helping.  Sometimes I wonder if his donor ever thinks about the children that might have come from his donations.  I wonder if he wishes he could see pictures of them, or meet them, or even know about their existence.  Or if, perhaps, he never thinks about them at all.    

I feel such overwhelming gratitude for his donor, and I hope I can raise Finn to feel the same way.  I hope he never feels a sense of loss or emptiness when he thinks of his donor.  He may always have some questions, but I hope that by talking openly about his donor early on, those questions will be limited to things like, "I wonder if I got my pudgy big toes from my donor."

For Finn, Father's Day is going to be a day to celebrate his PopPop, and perhaps some of the other men in his life, like his Uncle Brian and Uncle Clark.  For me, I'll also take a moment every Father's Day to say a prayer of thankfulness for the man who is Finn's donor.  He's not his dad, he's not his father, but without him, I wouldn't have my boy.