TMI

This morning on the Today Show there was a segment about pregnant women sharing too much online. It wasn't exactly what I expected. See, I thought the TMI would be stuff like what I was planning on writing about today, but instead it ended up being a segment about women sharing things like videos of themselves after they see two lines on a stick - videos that they promptly post on YouTube and FB.

As I watched these women, I couldn't help but think that they'd certainly never dealt with IF - after the 4th or 5th cycle of POAS, the novelty wears off and women aren't set up with a video camera to record what is anticipated to be another BFN.  And there's absolutely no way they could have possibly experienced a pregnancy loss before, because their reactions to their BFPs were much to innocent and joyful.  I have to admit, I was a little bit jealous of the "Womb TV" women in all their blissful ignorance.  And then a little disappointed when I realized that this was the full extent of Today's coverage of pregnant women sharing too much online.  Because I really do have a TMI post here, and I had thought was a wonderful segue it would be into my post today, instead of an aside before I get started.

*warning:  this is where the TMI stuff comes in*


Yesterday morning, as I was getting into the shower, I noticed something weird on my nipple.  And when I brushed it off, I realized that with just the tiniest bit of squeezing, there's actually liquid coming out of my nipples.  And that weird something was actually some of that dried liquid.  It's a clear liquid, but it's there.  All the strange sensations I've been feeling in my breasts lately must really mean something is going on in there, and now my boobs are leaking.  I guess I should get used to it.

Last night, I finally remembered my plans to work on perineal massage.  I first heard about it from new mommy Oak, back when she was still pregnant and posted about it after a Hypnobabies class.  I did some research, and it turns out that massaging your hoo-hoo, when done properly, really does decrease the chance of tearing during delivery.  Read two very difficult to follow instructions here - that second one that is supposed to clarify things is a doozy; or read some very simple instructions here.  (Yes, I know it says to start this 6 weeks before delivery - I really meant to, but I was out of olive oil.)

It sounds easy enough, right?  Well, last night I discovered that I can't reach my hoo-hoo with my thumbs.  At least not both thumbs at the same time.  I can still bend over and touch my toes without bending my knees and I can still tie my own shoes, but I can not put both thumbs in my hoo-hoo at the same time.  It's a physical impossibility.  I'm so shocked - it never occurred to me that I might not be able to follow the instructions once I finally got around to trying.

Not only that, but even with one thumb pressing down as instructed, it hurts, even when I was barely using any pressure.  When I first tried it I thought, "Ouch!" and then I thought "Motherfucker!" (ok, so maybe I said that out loud.  It's not like Chiquitito hasn't heard it before.  And maybe ouch wasn't really my first thought.)  For a minute there I was seriously doubting my ability to make it through natural childbirth.  But then the pain eased up, and while I know I wasn't doing it exactly right, I could feel everything relax a little, and it was just a little stretching and not actually painful.  I know that tiny amount of pain is nothing compared to childbirth, but the fact that I'm willing to do it again tonight tells me that I might just make it.  Especially when I know there's the reward of a heathy baby ahead.  And no olive oil is involved.

(As an aside, even if I had a partner to help me with this, I'm not sure I would let him.  Things are definitely looking weird down there.  Yes I looked.  It felt so different, how could I not get out a mirror and check things out?)

I have no idea if a couple of weeks of doing this is going to be enough to actually help, but it's worth trying.  Unless of course I throw my back out while trying to get my hoo-hoo massaged properly.  Which is a distinct possibility.