I see lots of pregnant women on a daily basis - part of my specialty is treating women with diabetes in pregnancy. Most of them are gestational diabetics, meaning they didn't get diabetes until they were pregnant. And so most of them have due dates between June and August. It makes me sad to see their happy pregnant bellies, and it's hard to have compassion when they complain about having to watch their diets, but I can deal with that.
What was hard today was the fact that today I saw three pregnant women who were all due within 3 weeks of when I was due. It's unusual for me to see one woman this early in pregnancy, much less three. One of them I followed with her last pregnancy a few years ago, and she knew I was TTC, and she knew I was pregnant. Our diabetes educator had already told her about my miscarriage, so I didn't have to tell her. But it was still hard to see her for the first time, especially since she was so sad for me. She brought me a card and a Willow Tree Hope angel, and told me she'd understand if it was too hard for me to keep on seeing her. And honestly, that offer made me cry, and suddenly made it less painful to think of following her for the next 7 months. The other two patients didn't know I had been pregnant, so they were easier, in that I didn't cry, but harder since they're dealing with issues that I was dealing with just a couple of weeks ago (morning sickness, bloating - all the fun early pregnancy symptoms), and I couldn't let myself be sad until I'd left the room.
But maybe seeing these three women now is a good thing. It's helping me face being sad, and maybe it'll help me better heal from my miscarriage, so when AF returns in 4-6 weeks, I'll be fully prepared to start to try again.
In the meantime, I'm going to go eat an entire pint of Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream.
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Haagen Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter has long been a comfort food of choice for me. Hope it does it's job.
ReplyDeleteChocolate peanut butter always makes the world better.
ReplyDeleteAnd how kind of that patient to acknowledge what you're going through. There *are* good people in the world.
They say people come into your life for a reason. I think the reason for these 3 is clear. Sending big hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteThere's only 1 thing better than Ice Cream, I say...Free Ice Cream!!!! (What did you think I was gonna say, lol?)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you are feeling better physically, but I'm sorry that the emotions are so tough for much longer than it takes for the body to heal. I imagine that working with pregnant women would be very hard. Sometimes it's tough when those sad feelings are brought up by someone and you feel on the spot, but I always appreciated when others recognized my hurt and were especially kind. I hope you will meet more understanding women along the way as you deal with this loss.
ReplyDeleteHope you enjoyed the ice cream!
Oh Shannon, I can't imagine how hard that must be. It shows what an incredible and strong woman you are to be able to continue helping them though! And I kind of love that first woman for recognizing the potential for pain that could be there... incredible!
ReplyDeleteChoc PB doesn't cure all, but it covers a few moments while being consumed. We will have a pint together later this month. Well I mean we'll each have our own. ;) Love you.
ReplyDeleteHey, wanted to say thanks for your comment on my blog! I'll be following your story now too. :)
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