Girlfriends

The past 4 days with my girlfriends were wonderful. Sun, drinks, laughter and a few tears with friends you love – there really isn’t anything much better for the soul than that.  I'm sure that my friends were at least a little worried about what to say or how to act around me, but they didn't act like it.  They all let me know they were sad for me, but didn't let it become the focus of the weekend for me, or for them.  I was afraid I’d spend the entire vacation thinking, “I should be pregnant right now” but instead I had long periods of time where I didn’t even think about my miscarriage, much less the fact that I should be 14 weeks pregnant right now. And it felt really nice to have some of that sadness lifted off me for a while.

I did fall off the healthy eating wagon a little bit.  Ok, a lot.  And my whole alcohol restriction went out the window, too.  But it was all for a good cause, and every single drink was worth it!  Especially mimosas on the beach at sunset - I'll never forget toasting our friend Drea on the beach at sunset - it was a magical moment.

I think the raw wound of my miscarriage is beginning to scab over a little bit – I’m even starting to be able to feel truly excited about my next shot at trying to conceive. The most amazing thing is, I really believe it will happen, that I will have my baby. I never truly believed it could happen before my first BFP; I guess knowing my body really does know how to get pregnant has made me feel more certain of my success in the future. My fortune cookie tonight helped that feeling tremendously: “Good news of long-awaited event will arrive soon.”

And the next few days of that wait will be spent much like today – at the beach, which is still mercifully free of oil, for a few more days at least.