Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Second Day of Thankful

I’m thankful for Judith McNaught.  As in Judith McNaught, the romance author.  No, not because of her books, though at one time I did absolutely adore them.  I’m thankful for her because of the wonderful group of friends I found just by trying to find out when her next book, Water’s Edge was coming out.  Eight years later, that book still isn’t out, but I have some of the most wonderful friends in the world.  We’ve seen each other through deaths, births, heartache and joy.  We’ve run miles of races together – or cheered each other on from the sidelines.   We’ve flown in from around the country, and even around the world, to get together and eat, shop and laugh together.  And not a day goes by that I’m not thankful for each and every one of them.  


Who knew that a romance author could do all that?


Monday, November 22, 2010

The First Day of Thankful!

Sarah over at Sarah Fain Has Starfish Envy has a wonderful idea for this week – a Week of Thankful. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, and I love the idea of a whole week of giving thanks, so I’m totally stealing her idea.

I’m going to start the week with something pretty simple. I’m thankful for exercise. Yes, exercise. It’s one thing that I can do for me that makes me feel good, is free, and is good for me. I might not have the best body, and I probably will never get rid of my muffin top, but I can control my fitness level, and that makes me feel wonderful. Right now, exercise is the only thing allowing me to eat whatever I want to while keeping gestational diabetes at bay, so I’m doubly thankful!

I wish I could go for a run tomorrow morning, because I always feel so great after I do, but even a brisk walk outside on a cool fall morning can be heavenly. And so I’m thankful that I can go for that walk every day. And I’m even thankful for the high blood sugars that inspired me to get back on track with daily exercise again!

(Again stealing from Sarah) - feel free to jump in on any of these posts and share what you're thankful for.  Or better yet, do your own thankful post.  :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Is this Nesting?


Some of you may remember that I’m planning on doing some construction on my condo to get ready for baby.  Things have been moving slow; between my architect being sick and my building manager being too busy to get back to me, there’s been no progress for weeks.  But all of a sudden everything came together on Thursday evening, and I was able to email my contractor with answers to all his questions.  He emailed me back Friday morning and said that January was all booked up, but he had an opening for December, if I could do that.  Could I?  That’s what I was hoping for, but had given up on after all the delays the past couple of months.

Of course, my loft is currently full of things I’ve been meaning to move or give away, and I really don’t want all that stuff still there when the construction starts.  This weekend I’ve spent hours going through my books and packing them up:  books I love but don’t expect to read again anytime soon to put in storage, books I don’t ever want to read again to give to Goodwill, and rearranging the remaining books on my shelves in a way that won’t look too weird in a nursery.  (Really, I have tons of bookshelves that a child could never reach, I can’t let the space go to waste!)    I still have books scattered elsewhere around the house, but I really can’t handle thinking about those just yet.  Come to think of it, it’s possible I might be a book hoarder. 

The book purge inspired me to work on the rest of my house, which meant shopping for a new shower curtain (and rugs and towels) for my guest bathroom.  While I was shopping I found throw pillows for my couch that are perfect.  The style is a little out of my comfort zone – it’s a geometric pattern with lots of squares of different colors – but the colors are perfect.  It looks as though someone specifically made the pillows to pull together all the colors in my living room!  In addition, my new chair was delivered Thursday afternoon, so now all I need to finish the living room is to replace my current heavy coffee table (with sharp corners) with a leather storage ottoman.  I feel like I might finally be making some serious progress.

This coming weekend, instead of shopping for Christmas presents on Black Friday, I’ll be at the lighting store, looking for a chandelier for my living room as well as new lighting for my kitchen.  I’m pretty sure that will complete my home purchases.  Just in time to start shopping for the nursery in January!

Speaking of the nursery, it’s finally starting to sink in that I’m going to have a little boy!  I’m so excited – I would have loved a girl, of course, but I was really hoping for a boy.  I still worry more than I think I should, but it all feels like more of a reality, now that I know that all looks well, and that it’s a he.  I do already have a name picked out, but for now I’m sticking with Chiquitito on the blog.  Don’t worry, that’s not really going to be his name!  At least I don’t think it will be.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

16 Week Ultrasound

Last night I had a dream that I found out my baby was a girl.  When I woke up to pee, and thought, "Really?  The night before my ultrasound, I finally get a dream?"  And then I went back to sleep and had another dream, this time that it was a boy.  So much for my prophetic dream abilities!

My ultrasound wasn't until 4pm, so it was a long day.  My sister Jamie, and my good friend (and long time running partner) Ali, met me at work and we drove across the street to the perinatal office, where I promptly forgot where it was, and went to the wrong floor.  (Seriously.)  We didn't wait long once I got to the right place, and the scan was started almost immediately.  At first, Kristy, the ultrasound tech, was taking measurements, but then she came to her senses and got to work finding out what flavor of baby I'm having.  And this is what we saw:


It's a boy!  I'm so happy!  I would have been happy either way, but I was (not-so) secretly wanting a little boy.  We were able to see all 10 fingers and toes, the brain, two kidneys, a normal heart (we could even see the heart valves!), a stomach and a bladder.  She couldn't get a good view of the pulmonary artery, though, so to be on the safe side I'm going back in 4 weeks for another scan.  My placenta is also covering my cervix (aka, placenta previa) so she wants to take a look at that, too, and be sure it's moved. In addition to all the baby stuff, both Kristy and the doctor kept commenting about the size of my bladder.  I guess all those years of holding it as long as I can has really stretched it out!  LOL  

Kicking Me!

I feel so relieved, after seeing my little boy kicking and punching and waving away in there.  I still can't feel any movement, which is crazy, given how much there is, but now that I know the anatomy is normal and all looks good, I'm feeling much less anxious.  I know the loss of my first pregnancy is going to make me more paranoid for this entire pregnancy (and any future ones, if I decide to try for 2), but this ultrasound was the big hurdle I have been waiting for.  Now it seems real.

OMG.  I'm going to have a SON!


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Babysitting


I spent yesterday afternoon babysitting my 7 month old nephew Oliver.  He is a chubby, fuzzy-headed little bundle of smiles and we had so much fun.  We played on the floor for a while, ate lunch and after a brief nap we went for a long walk.  As I was navigating the stroller onto the elevator I had this sudden, terrifying thought, “My sister has entrusted this little baby with me.  Is she crazy?  How does she know I can handle this?”  That thought was followed by, “Oh, crap.  How do I know I can handle this?  Can I do this every day?”  I’ve spent lots of time imagining being a mom, but this is the first time that my imagining actually seemed real.  Terrifying and exciting, all at the same time.   As I struggled to change Oliver’s diapers, and later his clothes, I sent up a little prayer that by this time next year I’m a lot better at doing both things, because I just about gave up on getting his clean shirt on yesterday.  Let’s hope practice improves my baby changing skills, because I’d hate for Chiquitita to go naked because I just can’t get him/her dressed in the morning.

We took a nap together on the couch after our walk.  When Oliver woke up, he twisted his head around to look up at me, and gave me a huge, toothless grin that just melted my heart.  If I feel this way with my nephew, how am I going to feel when it’s my baby grinning up at me?  I can’t even imagine.

My next ultrasound is coming up on Tuesday afternoon!  I’ve got my fingers crossed that Chiquitita will cooperate so I can find out if I’m having a boy or a girl.  I can’t believe that I have absolutely no idea, none at all.  Most people seem to think I’m having a boy, but I really don’t have a feeling one way or the other.  I do already have a boy name picked out, but if it’s a girl, I’ve got some work to do! 

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Culture Filled Weekend

Yesterday my friend Ali and I drove up into the Foothills for a day at the Highland Games.  There were men in kilts galore, but sadly the young ones were all wearing running tights under their kilts, which tends to ruin the effect (it was COLD!).  The older guys were braver, showing off their knobby knees and goosebumps with pride.  We ate some good food, watched a sheep dog herding some sheep (those dogs are so cool), heard some amazing bagpipes and then two great bands.  The first band we heard was Uncle Hamish and the Hooligans; we loved them enough to buy CDs from the bass player’s mom.  They ended the show with a song that turned into the theme from “Last of the Mohicans” – absolutely wonderful.  Ever since hearing that, I haven’t been able to get the image of Daniel Day-Lewis (Hawkeye) as he says to Cora, “I will find you.  No matter how long it takes, no matter how far, I will find you.”  *delicious shiver*   

Next up was Maidens IV, whose story sounds like something out of a Nora Roberts trilogy, well, quartet.  They’re sisters, 4 out of 9 siblings, who travel around playing Celtic music together.  Mom handles the sound, one of the sister’s husbands runs the CD sales, and between the four of them they play a violin, a viola, a goat-skin drum, keyboards, regular drums, bass and guitar.  It was freezing, but they managed to dance in clogs, sing and play while looking like they were having fun. 



Then tonight I had a different sort of cultural experience; I was invited to a baptism celebration, Ethiopian style.  One of my newer partners at work is from Ethiopia, and his newborn baby boy’s baptism was today.  At the party, we were served traditional Ethiopian food (yummy) and witnessed a traditional Ethiopian coffee bean roasting ceremony.  His priest gave a blessing (in Ethiopian), ending in the Apostle’s Creed, which was instantly recognizable, even though I didn’t understand the language.   I met my partner’s father, who embraced me and kissed me on both cheeks, and was just the nicest man, even though we couldn’t communicate through anything more than smiles.  His mother was much more reserved, but seems so proud of her son and new grandson.  The new baby is just the cutest – chubby cheeks and pouty lips and a round little tummy.  There were tons of children running around, with parents disciplining in English and Ethiopian in between gossiping and lots of laughter. 

As for my blood sugars – I’ve discovered that exercise works wonders.  I went for a long walk today, and since the walk my blood sugars have been perfect, even when eating fruit and chocolate cake at the party today.  It looks like I’ve finally found my incentive to get up and go for a walk every morning!  

Friday, November 5, 2010

A Little Too Sweet

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned before that one of my areas of interest at work is diabetes in pregnancy.  I didn’t mean for it to happen, but I’m now the doctor who sees just about every pregnant woman in my county if she needs insulin.  A small number of these patients are women who had diabetes before pregnancy, but most of them ended up with gestational diabetes, and when diet alone wasn’t enough to control their sugars they end up being sent to see me.  Sometimes it’s their fault they’re in my office, because they just aren’t doing what they’re supposed to, but many of them really are trying, it’s just not enough.

So of course, when I saw my OB for my first visit, she asked me about my risk factors for diabetes.  My grandmother has diet controlled diabetes, but no one else in my immediate family has any problems, so we decided not to do any early screening on me, instead sticking with the usual plan for a glucose tolerance test at around 26 weeks. 

But then last week I had a horrible lunch.  Someone had brought us barbeque chicken wraps, and the chicken was disgusting, over-cooked and chewy.  I didn’t have time to go out to eat, and so I ended up eating two bites of chicken, then the wrap (with lettuce, sauce and tomatoes without the chicken), two sugar cookies with frosting and 4 snack sized Twizzlers for lunch.  I know, it was a horrible meal, and I didn’t even enjoy it, but I didn’t have anything else to eat.  Not surprisingly, I felt bad a few hours later, so I decided to check my blood sugar... it was high.  A target sugar for someone with gestational diabetes two hours after a meal is 120, but normal is about 105-110.  Mine was 126.  So I started testing – first thing in the morning, and two hours after every meal.  I’ve only had one high after a meal since then, and that was when I was eating out.  All my morning blood sugars have been just a smidgen too high, though, between 88-92.  A target fasting sugar is 90, but normal fastings are in the 60-70s.  That has me worried.  I’m worried about if I’m going to have to start following the gestational diabetic diet (right before the holidays – so unfair!).  I’m worried that getting high blood sugars this early in pregnancy might mean that I have really high blood sugars later in pregnancy.  And I’m really worried that getting high blood sugars this early in pregnancy means that I’m going to get Type 2 diabetes! 

One benefit of being a diabetes specialist is that I have access to things like continuous glucose monitors.  That picture at the top of the page is the receiver for CGM I’m wearing right now.  CMGs are cool little devices; a tiny sensor is inserted just under the skin, and attached to a transmitter.  The sensor constantly measures sugar levels in what’s called the interstitial fluid (the fluid between cells in your skin), and reflects what your blood sugar was about 10-20 minutes earlier.  By wearing one, I can see what my blood sugar is doing all the time, not just when I do a fingerstick blood sugar check.  I’m going to wear it for a week to see what happens to my sugar immediately after eating horrible meals, and what happens when I follow a gestational diabetic diet.  Based on what I’ve seen over the past few days of checking sugars, I have a feeling that I’m going to be able to do ok with just loosely following the diet during the day, and can probably get away with a least some sweets and pastries too.  But the high morning blood sugars are a concern.  I’m going to start doing a bedtime snack every night, to see if that helps (usually that does) and if it doesn’t, I’m going to start metformin.   With my OB’s blessing, of course!  I’ve already decided that if I end up with full blown GDM, I am treating myself.  I know, they say doctors shouldn’t do that, but this is just looking at sugars and dosing insulin.  People with Type 1 diabetes do that on their own all the time, so I think it’s reasonable.  I can just imagine what my chart at my OBs office will say, though.  “Patient refuses referral for GDM education because she says she could teach the class herself if she had to; can already recite diet by heart and has her own glucometer and CGM.”

Quick Primer on Gestational Diabetes aka GDM:

A normal part of pregnancy is that your body doesn't use insulin as well as it usually does, and in response to this increased insulin resistance, your pancreas makes more insulin.  If you already have an increased risk for diabetes, your pancreas might not be able to make enough insulin to cover your body's requirements, and your sugar goes up.  The consequences of high blood sugars (if untreated) are an increased risk of a big baby (with potential trauma to baby and mother during delivery), an increased risk of neonatal hypoglycemia, jaundice and breathing problems, and an increased risk of childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes.  The treatment is diet, followed by insulin of needed, or occasionally an oral agent.  For the mom, the long term concern is that it’s associated with a 50-60% increased risk of type 2 diabetes within 5 years. 

Great.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Loving Circles

Yesterday morning, NPR aired a piece by Susan Stamberg on the memoir Lady Antonia Fraser has recently published about her life with Harold Pinter, the playwright.  In it, Susan says, as she describes the couple:  "They moved in loving circles and lived in love, as well."

I absolutely love that sentence.  I want that sentence to be able to describe me and my family one day.  I want to LIVE that sentence.  I think I've been blessed to be able to say that I move in loving circles - I'm so lucky to have the wonderful friends and family that I do.  I need to hold on to that phrase, so I remember to cultivate those circles and nurture them.  It's so hard to do; it's so easy to get caught up in the mundane details in life and forget the important stuff....

...if I cross-stitched, this would be my next project:

They moved in loving circles and lived in love, as well.