Goodbye 2014!

2014 has been a strange and sad and wonderful year for me.  I moved into my new house - a house that is still an unorganized mess but I love it, and we're finally starting to feel like it's home.  I had a new baby - and I still can't quite believe I'm the mom to two boys.  I've lost a friend - a friend who has been a part of my life for over 15 years, until a few months ago when she decided she didn't want to be a part of it anymore.  A friend who brought a lot of joy, but over the past few years has also brought a lot of stress.  And while I miss her, I also feel a little guilty that my life is actually a little bit better, a little bit easier, without her in it.  My nanny had a huge health scare (we thought she had a brain tumor - turns out it was just a weird shadow on a CT scan) and then got married.  One of my work partners did have a brain tumor (benign) and had major surgery at the beginning of the year.  And then another of my work partners developed lymphoma and has been out of work since June, and will probably be out another 6 months, at least.  My coworkers have become family, while at the same time my work itself has become more and more frustrating and less and less fulfilling.

It's been a year of transition, of learning what my life is now, and what's most important to me.

Life as a mother of two is not at all what I expected.  It's so much harder than I thought.  It has forced me to grow and mature and change in ways I never imagined.  And it is so much better - better than I ever dreamed it could be.

But it still needs some work.  My life needs some work.  There's a lot that I want to do that I can't manage right now, but there are two things that are realistic goals for 2015.

The first is getting organized.  I moved into this house when I was 36 weeks pregnant and a lot of things were just shoved in the closet with the most room, and it's a mess.  My goal for the next month or so is to systematically go through each closet in every room and clean house.  It'll take a lot of time, but it will be worth it.

My second is to take more time for myself.  My new schedule starts next week (but of course I'm on hospital call next week, so technically my new schedule doesn't start until the following week), and I'll be finishing about an hour earlier every day than I am now.  I'm going to make it a point to do something for myself every week - some time at the gym, a manicure, a massage - it'll only be an extra hour, but I can make that extra hour count, and still have more time with the boys.

And maybe I can actually keep up with my 365 project for the last 5 weeks until it's officially done.

12/3/14: There's something on my face, isn't there?

12/4/14: this boy loves drinking his water thru a straw

12/5/14: hanging out with big brother

12/6/14: crawling around Dillards, waiting to meet Santa

12/7/14: checking out the view from my condo

12/8/14: loving the hair dryer

12/9/14: definitely getting into trouble

12/10/14: he's perfected that "I'm so cute" pose

12/11/14: If I did this to Finn, he'd freak out.  Z barely minds.

12/12/14: having trouble getting the cheese to his mouth

12/13/14: Christmas shopping

12/14/14: clearly loving more Christmas shopping

12/15/14: nothing is safe

12/16/14: sitting on the floor during Finn's Christmas program

12/17/14: selfie with mommy

12/18/14: brothers

12/19/14: Christmas presents!

12/20/14: on the plane heading to Florida

12/21/14: poor baby with a rash

12/22/14: waiting to see the doctor in Urgent Care

12/23/14: Christmas tree!

12/24/14: Christmas Eve

12/25/14: Zachary's first Christmas morning

12/26/14: beach baby

12/27/14: wishing it were warm enough to go swimming

12/28/14: one last walk out to the bay before heading to the airport

12/29/14: this drawer is much more interesting if I crawl into it

If you've stuck with me this long - Happy New Year!  I hope that 2015 is a wonderful, fruitful and joyful year for us all!