Last Wednesday afternoon, Nanny M sent me a text that Finn had not had a good day at preschool. Actually, most of his day had been good, but then there was an issue with sharing with his new friends, and he had a meltdown. One of the teachers ended up having to take him out of the room to calm him down, as he kicked and screamed, saying that he hit his mommy and said he couldn't stop. I don't think he actually hit a classmate, but I know he did try to hit one.
These emotional outbursts are not new, and getting him to stop hitting me when he gets mad is something we've been working on for a long time. So his outburst wasn't completely surprising, but I didn't really expect it to happen at school. I spent the whole rest of the day worrying about what I would say to him, and how I would deal with it. We ended up talking about what happened, talking about dealing with anger and how it's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hit our friends. I also pointed out to him that he rarely hits me anymore - usually he catches himself as he's about to hit and stops himself. And then we did a lot of role playing of how to deal with anger and sharing - which he loved. He's had good days since, but I worry that this incident might have taken away a little of his joy in his new school. Getting him to tell me about his day is like pulling teeth, so unless he shares something in play, I don't get any information at all about his day. (Believe me, I've tried everything, including very specific questions, but the kid isn't talking.)
Meanwhile, Zachary is just full of smiles and happy. This week's pictures were all on my phone (which is what happens when I put up my good camera while cleaning house and never get it out again).
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| 9/3/14: still just the two teeth - and so cute! |
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| 9/4/14: sound asleep |
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| 9/5/14: hanging out in the back yard |
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| 9/6/14: Z's first trip to the mall - I was going to try for a better picture but I got distracted by the pretty pots and pans |
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| 9/7/14: first time with a sippy cup |
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| 9/8/14: he tried so hard to get this ball |
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| 9/9/14: selfie |
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Love that sweet two-tooth grin! What a love!
ReplyDeleteAnd poor Finn. Learning to control our emotions is such hard work!
Poor Finn, dealing with big emotions at that age is so overwhelming. Maybe it's an age thing not to want to go over the details of the day, I've read a few moms write that their preschooler won't spill the beans about their day & I know it's like pulling teeth with E. But that shouldn't stop you from asking, it's a very important habit to start, IMO.
ReplyDeleteI know it doesn't matter, but the little cherub does really look like you a lot!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love those cheeks! I hope that Finn gets his enjoyment of school back again soon.
ReplyDeleteToddlers can totally suck sometimes! : ) It's so hard to guide, love, nurture, and teach them after they hit their friends or you.
ReplyDeleteSweet Finn. For commiseration on the non-sharing...I've never been able to get Tate to really talk about his day. He simply doesn't seem to enjoy giving me the post-mortem at the end of the day, which I would relish. Even now at 5 years old I have a hard time getting information about what happened. At least in daycare I would get to talk to the teacher in the afternoon or drop-off or on Fridays when I was off. In kindergarten communication is minimal with the teacher unless i have a specific question which requires me to email which she is quick to respond to. But I certainly can't ask her what toys he played with Monday and what book did he like Tuesday etc. I've gotten much more creative in my questioning now, and get some better answers, but it's extremely frustrating. My friends with 5 year old girls can't get their girls to shut up about their days. My friends with boys are all clueless like me.
ReplyDeleteThe first two weeks at pre-school and my little man got bitten twice by other kids. I was mortified and ready to pull him out - and I had been really worried he would start to bite back. Thankfully it is a thing of the past, and we have had no more incidents. Settling in takes time, and as much as Finn would love the activity, it is a new routine that has upset his balance. You sound like you are doing a great job, and he needs to learn how to work in this new environment. If it continues, you could always try and spend a bit of time with him there, till he adjusts better? When we started with my son, I only sent him there with his dad (a luxury I know you don;t have), which seemed to help the transition as well. Good luck, it is tough to rationalise with toddlers!
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