What I'd forgotten in this fantasy of sugar plums dancing in our heads was that Finn is a toddler. Just leaving the house can be a struggle of epic proportions. He can make putting a shirt on so hard that I want to just give up and let him go naked. How on earth can we accomplish any of these amazing things on my Christmas list without every single one of them turning into a nightmare?
And then one of my SMC friends shared this article: To Mamas of Littles During the Holidays. The entire thing is great, but there are a few lines that had the biggest impact for me.
Your small people who make everything hard? Because God is a gracious God to us tired mamas, they won’t remember this. They won’t remember that you yelled yesterday. They also won’t remember the Elf on the Shelf or the terrifying visit to Santa’s lap from your list of Fun Things To Accomplish. Nope. They’re just going to remember a warm, fuzzy, maybe slightly squishy version of Mama. They’re going to remember you were THERE.So I've given myself permission to not do all those activities. We'll still make cookies, but only if we're both in good moods, and when I'm prepared for a long activity with a huge mess and lots of "I want to do it, all. by. myself." We'll try for the picture with Santa, but if he says he doesn't want it (like he did last week), then we'll skip it. Today when I'd planned to get all the Christmas decorating done, we made it through getting the tree up, but no ornaments, and got one box of decorations out. Then Finn started to get difficult, so we put on a Christmas movie for 15 minutes, then went outside, and left the rest for me to do tonight. Or tomorrow.
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| Playing with his Christmas train |
Now I'm continuing my personal Christmas tradition, and have Love Actually playing, which means it's time to get up and trim the tree.
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As our babies get older sometimes we think they are ready for more than they actually are. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one who has come to realize the holidays that were so full of traditions when our kids were babies, and will again be someday when they're older, kind of can't be what we want right now. I'm not even going to get a tree because the very idea of chasing B away from it for the next month sounds utterly exhausting - not to mention having to haul it up three flights of stairs to my house while six months' pregnant! I'm going to decorate but only sparsely and not have my annual Christmas party, either. It's just too damned hard. But abou five years from now? Maybe some of the traditions and activities can come back. This too shall pass, right?
ReplyDeleteThanks for that message. It came at a good time for me. Thanksgiving didn't go as I had envisioned, so it's nice to be let off the hook for wanting to discard expectations for Christmas. I do hope to take them out to see some amazing Christmas lights, but other than that, I don't really care. And if that bombs, not that big of a deal either.
ReplyDeleteAmen. We do what we can and stop when it's no longer enjoyable. That's what makes it fun!
ReplyDeleteTonight we were at an event with Santa and we missed out chance to take a number to see him, because they were booked through closing time. My mom marched herself back to the table and insisted the young volunteers give her a ticket, promising we wouldn't try to have a turn if it was time to close.
Well, closing time rolled around and she was standing at the head of the line hollering "Come on! It's almost our turn!" Making a big scene. And all this for kids who are 1.5, 2 and 5 months, and of course exhausted and whiny and not caring one iota about any of it. Ugh.
Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteLove this post! You are very wise. I read this while eating breakfast and surfing the web for easy Christmas cookie recipes. Like I'm really going to make some this year. Blahahahaha
ReplyDeleteLove Actually is a tradition of ours too! Best Christmas movie ever, in my opinion. :)
ReplyDeleteI struggle with the same things, and B does not help. He says he wants the holidays to be magical, bit it's all on me to make that happen. Ugh.
This is exactly what I need to read right now. I am promising myself that I will refer back to this post often this month. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI wish there were a "like" button on blogspot. Because I have nothing intelligent to say except "I like this post." I like it a lot.
ReplyDeleteHa! I was just thinking the same thing that Heidi commented. Thank you for posting this.
ReplyDeleteRight on sister! We do what we have to do to survive.
ReplyDeleteDon't be too hard on yourself or Finn! Just try to see it from his point of view (at least I try to - I go back to that every time my toddler pushes me a little too much). They don't understand how to self restrain, so they become difficult (to us) and scream and carry on. But they don't do it to be difficult, they do it because that is how they cope. You are making traditions every single day just by being his mum, and celebrating together :) Enjoy this last christmas with the two of you x
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great plan!! I have to remember this all too! Why is it so hard??
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