Yeah, it's been one of those weeks.
Some of the stresses are good (hello! still pregnant over here!), some unexpected (random phone call from an old friend who ended our friendship badly 7 years ago), some are chronic (does anyone have a nonstressful job these days?), some are getting worse by the second (less than a month until boards and I'm so NOT ready), some I'm not ready to talk about yet (hopefully soon!) and then of course there's tomorrow's MRI.
Of course there's the usual anxiety about what the results of the scan will show. But then there's the added anxiety of the anesthesia. You might remember that last time he had an epic and violent meltdown after anesthesia, which I attribute to him getting a full dose of Versed (a sedative like Valium) before his scan for the first time. He's gotten Versed before, I'd just never managed to get the full dose into him, until last time.
The Versed calms him down, so that he's nice and mellow when they take him back for anesthesia. Then it also has the nice side effect of causing a little short term memory loss, so he doesn't remember going back for anesthesia, or the mask going over his face to make him sleep. That sounds lovely, but if the anesthesiologist agrees that his meltdown last time was Versed-induced, we're going to talk about maybe not giving it to him this time.
I'm worried about how much he'll remember this time around, and then how much he'll remember the next time...and the time after that. I'm worried that he'll start to get scared at the idea of going to the doctor or the hospital. I'm really worried about him being frightened with all the strangers around him and me not right there. I hate this.
Before I work myself up into another crying jag, I'll end this post with something funny. A few mornings ago Finn came into the bathroom as I was getting out of the shower. He decided it was time to take off his nighttime diaper, and as he did, he said, "There's pee-pee in there!"
"Yes there is," I agreed.
"Finn's wee-wee was in there," pointing to the diaper.
"Yes, it was."
"Does Mommy have a wee-wee?"
"No, Mommy doesn't have a wee-wee."
"Mommy, you go store and buy a wee-wee?"
"No, I don't think I need a wee-wee."
"Oh, shooey."
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For all the stresses, I can only say that you are in my thoughts. Be good to yourself! Now the story of Finn, he really is too cute!
ReplyDeleteIs there any way they would let you go back with him until he is "under?" They let me do that with Carys for her last tube surgery- I held the mask on her, and it was so nice. I too would stress about him being away from me for much time. As far as the other fears - all I can say is that Fiona had very frequent blood work and other doctor appointments from age 13 - 28ish months, on top of the major trauma of her hospitalization, and it did not manifest in long-term issues.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about all the stresses - I am right there with you, stressed to the max. Sigh.
I hope some of the stress dissipates soon, and you are able to get some more rest and relaxation.
ReplyDeleteI never realized that a man's obsession over his penis started so young, until I had a son! It started at 3 months in our house, and I can only imagine the conversations that are coming down the road very soon!
How sad you don't have a wee-wee. The injustice!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, sorry you're having one of those weeks. In fact, sounds like more than a typical stressful week. You have a LOT going on. I really hope Finn's scan goes well and isn't too stressful for either of you. And eeek! Good luck with the boards!
Take care of yourself.
Wishing you and Finn the best with his scan.
ReplyDeleteGot a good chuckle from your and Finn's conversation. Thanks!
Glad you can laugh at the end of the post. Thinking of you and Finn with this scan. Hope your stresses die down soon.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you & Finn today...Not sure if this is a good parenting idea or not...but as Finn gets older, can you arrange to do somehting fun or special the day of or after the scans, or he gets a special gift or something? Then he may be more likely to remember the reward than the fears?
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and Finn at the MRI today. I think I can understand how you must feel worrying about Finn, relating negative thoughts to doctors and hospitals. We always want the best and most happiness for our little people. It's almost harder as they get older to understand (and remember) more. Let us all know how it goes!
ReplyDeleteYou do have alot going on!! For someone who seems to effectively juggle alot, it's OK to have a meltdown from time to time :)
Hope whether you've decided he takes Versed or not that it all went well.
ReplyDeleteWow he has so many words. So cute! I hope the MRI goes more smoothly and Finn gets a clean bill of health.
ReplyDeleteYou may not think so, but you handle the stress beautifully. I do wish you had a lot less, of course. Finn is one lucky little boy to have you for a mommy.
ReplyDeleteI hope all went well with the versed and the scan. It is indeed a lot to be juggling...
ReplyDeleteI hope the scan went well.
ReplyDeleteWith my chid life specialist hat on: You can (and should!) advocate to be able to be with Finn until he's asleep. Also, we give versed/midazolam to kids often in the ED, and it occasionally has a paradoxical effect - a miserable, crying, inconsolable child instead of a calm, relaxed, in-lala-land, child! But it does have that nice amnesia effect, too.
LOVE the story at the end! So funny!
Love the narrative about Mommy's missing wee wee!
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