MRI #9 - Updated!

Yesterday was Finn's 9th MRI.  We seem to be on a trend lately of each MRI being worse than the last...let's hope that's not a trend that continues, because I'm not sure I can handle another day like yesterday!  And, to add insult onto injury, I still don't have the results of the MRI yet.

I started off the morning by oversleeping.  It was only by about 20 minutes, but it meant that I had to rush, and I left with my wet hair up in a ponytail.  Finn was asleep when it was time to leave, so I picked him up still sleeping and he didn't wake up until we walked outside.  Two Canadian geese flew overhead as we walked to the car and Finn woke up to their honks: "Birds!"  He was happy in the car and easy to entertain while we waited to meet with anesthesia.  We had the same anesthesiologist as last time, and Finn took the Versed like a champ (the first time he's taken all of it).  He was so stoned by the time they were ready for him.  He was watching Diego on my phone and giggling like a loon, and when we lost signal, he giggled at making funny faces on my camera phone.  Finn happily went with the nurse and doctor back to the MRI, and I gave myself my morning Lupron shot before going to the waiting room.

It was just about the fastest MRI ever (which increases the chances that it all is stable), but Finn was still really sedated when I went back.  He had the same nurses he's always had before, and they were all giving him tons of love and attention.  I considered rocking him until he was a little more alert, but decided we'd go ahead and head over to the oncologist's office, hoping we'd then manage to get home earlier.

What a nightmare.  He wiggled and squirmed in my arms the whole walk down to the car.  And then when we got to the car, a meltdown of epic proportions started.  Screaming.  Yelling.  Crying.  Nothing worked to calm him down.  I tried to cuddle him for a few minutes, but he continued to scream, so I got him into his car seat and we drove over to the oncologist's.  He calmed down when we first got out of the car, but that didn't last.  He was so doped up he couldn't stand up on his own, but wanted to stand up.  He didn't want me to put him down, but he didn't want me to hold him.  He wanted to play with the train, but he didn't want the train.  He wanted his pacifier, but threw it across the room when I gave it to him.  And the screaming.  Oh my god, the screaming.  There was a couple with a small child in the waiting room, and they completely avoided even looking at us.  I could feel their judgement, their criticism of my parenting skills in the looks they gave each other as they studiously avoided looking in our direction.  At one point, Finn threw his pacifier across the room and it landed right at the woman's feet.  She looked at it, and then looked away.  Finn was hitting and spitting and being just awful, and I was about to lose it.  I know it was all the anesthesia, but I didn't know what to do to make him feel better, and the silent (underserved) judgement from the well dressed couple in the room was just about more than I could bear.

And then Hannah, our nurse came out to call Finn back.  She took one look at us and came rushing across the room, "Oh Finn, you're never like this after anesthesia!  Poor boy!  Oh, the medicines really made you upset this time. Mom, let me help you!" and she grabbed our stuff, including picking up his pacifier, as the other parents looked on with what I hope was guilty expressions.

Hannah was wonderful, and as soon as we got to the exam room she got out toys she thought would distract Finn - we finally settled on bubbles.  She was in there blowing bubbles for almost 10 minutes until he was calmed down and was actually giggling.  He was great after that, and even let her get blood from his toe without fuss.  He was still off balance and fussy, but the meltdown was over.

Our usual oncologist was out, so we saw someone else - who wasn't really sure about what the plan was, and who assured me she'd call as soon as she got the MRI results.  When it was 4pm and I still hadn't heard, I called their office.  And they were closed already.  I spoke to the answering service, but the oncologist I saw wasn't on call, and they won't give out results after hours.  So we wait until Monday.

While this was a pretty crappy day thanks to Finn's epic post anesthesia meltdown, it's amazing how much worse an MRI day is when there's no news at the end.

I'm really wondering if the Versed is the cause of his bad reaction, as he's never had a full dose before and this is the first time he's had such a bad reaction.  I think next time (which is hopefully 6 months from now, instead of 4 months!) I'll see if we can just give him half.  Just enough to take the edge off - it's only to make it easier for him when they take him back and not really necessary for the anesthesia.

We have no big weekend plans, which is good, as I now have a horrible headache.  At least Finn is fully recovered from his anesthesia and back to his usual happy self.  

***Update***

The doctor called me earlier today to give me the results of the MRI.  The primary tumor is nice and stable, which is good news!  There was one lymph node they've been keeping an eye on that looks a little bigger, though.  As she's not Finn's primary oncologist, she didn't want to give me a finalized plan.  So we're still waiting to hear back from Dr. B on Monday or Tuesday about the plan for the next MRI.  Lymph nodes can get bigger for all sorts of reasons, so it's most likely nothing more than something that's going to buy us another MRI in 4 months and a little more worry for me.