Interview Day

Today was my interview for the medical liaison job.  I lucked out with an interview that started at 1:30, so I was able to fly up this morning, and I'm now at the airport waiting for my flight home - if all goes as planned, I'll be home in time for Finn's last feeding of the night.  I almost started to cry when I left this morning; this is the furthest away from him I've ever been and the longest I've ever been away from him, too.  When the plane took off I was suddenly filled with a fear I've never felt while flying - what if something happens to the plane?  Finn needs me!  I hope this is a normal mom feeling, because I sure felt crazy for a few minutes while I tried not to hyperventilate as we went through some turbulence.

The interview day started off with me giving a 25 minute presentation. That presentation took me HOURS to prepare, and has resulted in me being even further behind at work, but the hard work was worth it, because I did a good job and had my audience interested, and even made them laugh a few times.  The rest of the interview day was great.  The company is amazing, and the benefits are incredible. Way better than what I have now working for a hospital system (one of the women I interviewed with just came back from a 6 month paid maternity leave after her baby was born 6 weeks early).  I loved everyone I met, and learned that I would love - absolutely love - doing this job and working for this company.

But I can't take the job.

It requires somewhere between 6-10 weeks a year of travel out of town for various meetings that last 3-5 days.  I asked if it would be possible to bring the baby and nanny on my own dime, and was told that in the past that was allowed, but it's now against company policy.  It's possible that I could make that work with just Finn, because the weeks that I'm not traveling would have flexible hours, so I could be with him a lot more than I am now.  But I could never have a second baby if I took this job.

By the second to last interview, I was pretty sure this was not going to work.  (For the record, I had asked friends that do the same job in different territories about the travel and they had led me to believe that it would be much less than this.)  The last interview was with the woman who would have been my boss's boss, so I decided to be completely open and candid with her, because if I had misunderstood things, she would be the one who could clarify things for me.

It turns out, she had considered being a SMC about 5-10 years ago through adoption, but had decided against it.  And she has a friend who does a similar job who is an SMC.  So she was uniquely qualified to help me think things through.  In the end she told me that she thought I was a great fit for the job, but if they offer me the job and I decide I have to decline, that they would understand and there would be no hard feelings.  Then she told me, "I'm a firm believer that once you make a decision, you stick with it and you don't look back.  You make the best choice you can at the time, and never second guess yourself once you've made it."

We (my partners and I) have a meeting with administration next Monday.  I'm very hopeful they will offer us something we can live with, but I'm not holding my breath.  Our email to them that I mentioned a few weeks ago - the one where we said, "Thanks for your response, given our current situation, we will have to look elsewhere" got a response that scolded us for only trying to get "what's in it for me, instead of looking at what is good for the organization as a whole, so if you want to leave, please do."

There's a one physician endocrine practice about 2 minutes from my new home, so I've also reached out to them to see if they're looking to hire.  Hopefully it will all work out in the end - it has to, I can't continue with the ways things are now.

My flight is boarding - just a few hours until I see my baby again!