Home Again

Me and Finn at the Gaylord Texan

We had a wonderful weekend in Texas - even though we were inside the entire time, and the only way we could tell we were in Texas was the occasional person walking by in a cowboy hat.  Well, that and all the Texas themed stuff in the gift shops.  The conference was at the Gaylord Texan; all my times in Dallas I've never stayed there before, which is a shame, because it's fabulous.  They're all decked out for Christmas, and have tons of Dreamworks themed Christmas things (like "Shrek the Halls" ice exhibit), which made me wish Finn was old enough to enjoy it.  But he did like all the lights, especially at night.  I'm so looking forward to sharing my love of travel and new experiences with Finn; he handled the trip so well, I'm really hoping he continues to be a good traveler. This weekend, it was so nice to have someone with me while we traveled, and so great to be able to see Finn during my breaks each day.

Yesterday I finally got around to going through my mail and found a notice from my bank of a denied check that they thought was fraudulent.  I checked it out online, and it turns out it was fraudelent.  It was my check, but written to someone I don't know with the memo "Oct-Nov rent".  When I got to work today, I dug out the checkbook I keep in my desk, and found that the check was taken from that checkbook, and it looks like it was just that check.  I called the bank to confirm it was a fraudulent check, and they told me I have to close out my entire account. The account I've had since 1999.  The account that I have almost every single bill tied to.  The account whose number I finally memorized last summer.  So that account is now closed, and I have to spend my lunch hour tomorrow at the bank opening a new account.  And then I'll be spending the evenings for the rest of the week updating all my other accounts with the new bank info.  I'm so glad that the bank caught it, but SO annoyed I have to deal with this.

And of course, I'm wondering who it was who stole the check.  My office is right next to the nurse's station, but out of the path of traffic in the office, so it's hard to imagine a patient could have gotten back there and had time to riffle through my desk.  I'm suspicious that it was the cleaning crew, though the woman who does most of the cleaning would never ever do something like that.  She also works at the hospital, and before I delivered Finn, she gave me her cell phone number and told me to call her if I needed anything while I was in the hospital.  She used to watch me walk out to my car when I was at the office late, to be sure I was safe, and when my car was broken into a few years ago, she was more upset than I was.  So I know it's not her.  But she's not always the one who does the cleaning.  I think I'm going to tell my office manager about it, and let her deal with that side of things.  After I file a police report, that is.

I wonder if I'm going to have to go to the police station to do the reporting, or if they'll come to me?  And I also wonder, why are people so mean sometimes?

Recovering

I'm writing this from my hotel room in Dallas, with Finn sleeping beside me and Nanny M in the other bed.  I have a work conference for the next few days and so we all are here - and Nanny M got to fly for the first time today.  Finn was a champ on the plane, a seasoned traveler already!

My mastitis is finally better.  Yesterday morning was the last of the icky goop coming out, and now it's just a little tender.  I've been taking probiotics since Tuesday, since so many of you thought it would help.  It's too early to tell if it will help keep a yeast infection at bay, but the lower GI side effects that started Tuesday have gone away completely.  Yay!

I know that the mastitis was caused by not pumping at all over the holiday weekend.  Most work days I pump twice what Finn eats during the day.  And since he was born, he always eats his fill off just one breast.  So during the week I feed him off one side in the early morning hours, he usually gets a light "snack" from the other side before I leave for work, and then I pump at noon and around 3, and he nurses again when I get home, around 6pm.  When I'm home with him, we skip the morning snack and he nurses a full meal around 10am, and then again around 2pm.  But since he only nurses on one side, that means that one breast goes a long time (4am to 2pm) between nursing.  So I either need to start nursing on both sides on weekends, or pumping at least once in the morning to keep this from happening again.

And of course I'm off work and with him for another 4 days (though most of it I'll be in lectures) and need to start doing something like that now.  Meagan recommended the manual Harmony pump by Medela to me in November after my blog post about being so engorged at the wedding a few months ago, so I took her advice and bought one for this trip.  I used it tonight, and have to say that it's awesome!

And finally, I can't end this post without a picture of Finn - this time with his picture with Santa.  The guys taking the picture was so great - he kept Finn's attention while I put him in Santa's lap, so he didn't even know who was holding him until well after this picture was taken.  Isn't this guy the best Santa ever?

Mastitis is a Bitch

Sunday I took Finn to meet Santa and get his picture taken - but that's a story for another post.  Finn ate some pears for breakfast yesterday around 10 (he nurses at night around 4am, and is never interested in eating again until 9-10) and then we ran some errands.  We didn't make it to meet Santa until around two, and I fed him again right before we went in.  He ate a lot less than usual, and I noticed that I was tender on that side, but figured he'd just gone too long between feedings and I was engorged.

By the time we left the mall, I was feeling awful.  All I wanted was to lie down.  Once we got home I took some Tylenol and developed chills as soon as we got in the bed to nap.  I checked my temperature about an hour later and it was 99.7.  I kept trying to get Finn to feed from that right breast, but he wouldn't feed for long, even when it was clear he was still hungry.  I probably should have pumped then, but I felt so awful, it didn't even occur to me.

My fever broke in the middle of the night, but Finn still wouldn't feed off that right side.  I was less achy this morning but still felt pretty horrible, and spent the morning looking forward to my pump session.  And when I did pump, I noticed a little bead of something thick and yellow on my nipple when I was done *warning, this gets a little gross* and when I squeezed, more gunk came out.  I expressed tons of nasty stuff, just from one duct.  It seriously looked like snot was coming out of my breast.  The other ducts were spurting out milk just fine, so fine I ended up with sprays of milk all over my desk before it occurred to me to put a tissue over myself to keep that from happening.

I felt a million times better after getting all that purulent (never write the word "pussy" when trying to describe something that was pus like, it never looks right) material out, and thought maybe I was in the clear. But then I started to feel awful again a few hours later.  So I broke down and got antibiotics.  I hate the risk of a yeast infection from them, but I really have no choice.  Has anyone ever truly had success with taking probiotics with antibiotics?

I came home and got Nanny M to stay a little longer so I could take a hot shower and express more nastiness.  Once she left I made myself some oatmeal for dinner, and found myself crying on the floor with Finn while waiting for my water to boil.  I have not felt this bad since I was in labor.  I'm not in the same type of miserable pain, but I feel like absolute crap.   Oh, it would be so nice to have someone taking care of me right now.

I pumped on that side while Finn took a bath, and then expressed more goop - much less than earlier, which hopefully is a good sign.  I tried to sleep, but I've got a nasty headache, too, and can't get comfortable.  Which is just annoying, since all I want to do is get in bed.  Maybe I'll take some ibuprofen and get an ice pack for my neck and crawl in bed again.  I need to get up at midnight to take my next antibiotic, and I think I'll pump again then to keep the gross stuff moving out.

Once I'm feeling better, I'm going to have to come up with a much better plan for nursing and pumping on the weekends.  I'm certain I brought this on myself; a week or so ago I even had the thought that I was going to end up in trouble with the way my nursing schedule is so different on the weekends, since I don't pump then. I should have listened to myself.  Mastitis is a bitch.

Thanksgiving

Finn and I had Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's house today.  It was crazy, and awful, and fun and all that Thanksgiving should be.

J did a great job of planning the timing of things - she has ordered a turkey already made, so all that needed to be done with that was heating it in the oven.  As soon as it was in the oven, we started on the prep work for the potatoes and the dressing. We decided to use the Food Network' mix and match dressing recipe (you can find it here but I like the way they have it laid out as a list in their magazine better); for our bread we used challah bread, then added pears and apples, pancetta, gruyere cheese and gouda - it was amazingly good.  We also did a medley of roasted potatoes:  sweet potatoes, red potatoes, purple potatoes and Yukon gold.  Last night I made a homemade apple pie (with gala, pink lady and braeburns - yummy!), so dessert was one thing we didn't have to worry about.

Our plan was to share the prep work, and at first that went well, as Finn played happily on the floor and her boys napped.  Then Finn got fussy and I had to take him to D's room to nap.  He stayed asleep for about 30 minutes, then was up again, but unhappy and needed constant attention.  I  finally got him to go to sleep again, but he didn't sleep long again, and woke up just before it was time to eat.  Which meant that dinner was eaten with me holding him.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  My sister ended up doing most of the cooking (I did chop up two apples and all of the celery) while my brother-in-law watched football and complained about anything she asked him to do to help out with the boys.  He's usually really great (he's even changed Finn's diapers more than once) so I have no idea why he was being so annoying.  But whatever the reason, the two older boys got more and more wound up through out the day, while my sister worked in the kitchen and bickered with her husband who was doing his almighty best to be a pain in the ass.

And then it was time to transfer the turkey from the roasting pan to the serving plate, a job B actually volunteered to do.  I was helping the boys arrange their chairs in the dining room when I heard a crash, followed by swearing.  The turkey and all its juices were on the floor.  B burned his hands trying to pick it up, my sister was trying not to cry, the kids were asking if the turkey was broken and I made things worse by laughing.  I couldn't help it.

Luckily, the turkey was salvageable, and the rest of the food was delicious.  The boys made a mess with their Thanksgiving dinner while Finn chowed down on pears (in his mesh feeder), and I ate one handed with my plate out of Finn's reach, and my sister and her husband ignored each other.

D (the 4 year old) declared he was thankful for his brother and for Finn - and then went on to say he was thankful for everything in the world - except salad.  And broccoli.

I'm thankful for my family, even when they're dysfunctional.  I'm thankful for the miracle that is my little boy, and thankful that he's celebrating Thanksgiving in good health.  I'm thankful for my friends.  I'm thankful for all of you reading right now.  And I'm thankful for the piece of pie in the kitchen that's calling my name.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Food Wars

Loving the carrots

I never thought we'd have a hard time getting Finn on solid foods.  (And by we, I mean me and Nanny M.)  He's been watching us eat for over a month, and even making chewing motions with his mouth when I'd start chewing.  Everything goes straight into his mouth as soon as he picks it up, and he's 20 pounds at 6 months and has two teeth.  All signs it's time for solid food, right?

I thought the hardest thing was going to be deciding what foods to give him.  My pediatrician said a new food every 7 days, starting with rice cereal, then fruit and then add veggies. My friend's pediatrician said wait a day or two between new foods, start with rice cereal and then veggies and later add fruit.  And then some of the references I read online suggested meat as baby's first food.  It took me awhile, but I've finally realized that parenting is not an exact science.  There are so many different recommendations from the experts because no one really knows what the right thing to do is.  So my job is to do all the research, and then go with what feels right for Finn and hopefully not drive myself crazy in the process.

I expected the first few days of rice cereal to be a little weird for him, but I was sure that once we went to sweet potatoes, he'd be thrilled.  Instead, he turned up his nose to everything.  Oh, he'd eat a little at first, but within a few days he was turning his head away whenever Nanny M would put the spoon up to his face, and it only took him a day or two to figure out her tricks, so that he was sure to keep his mouth closed, no matter what she was doing to entice him into a big grin. Sweet potatoes didn't do it, and neither did prunes or bananas.

Mealtime isn't supposed to be a battle when they're young, and one thing the experts can agree on is you should never force a baby to eat when he clearly says he's done.  Nanny M wondered if we should just hold off on the solid food for a while, and I was starting to agree with her.  And then he got some very watery stools.  Unfortunately, that immediately made me worry about the neuroblastoma.  In some instances, neuroblastomas can make a substance called VIP that can cause watery diarrhea.  He hadn't been tested for that because he didn't have diarrhea, but of course I had to worry that maybe I just hadn't noticed the diarrhea because he was getting breast milk, and had watery type stools anyway.  But since we've stopped the rice cereal, the watery stools have stopped, so I think maybe it was just a food reaction. But that plus the difficulty in getting him to eat made me think we should wait awhile longer.

This weekend my sister suggested we give him a Mum Mum cracker.  And he shocked me by eating the entire thing.  So I tried giving him cut up pieces of banana - and let him feed himself (though the banana was too slippery for much to make it to his mouth) and he seemed to like what he was able to eat.  I'd tried the same thing with sweet potatoes last week, but maybe it was just a little too soon into the whole solid food thing for him to be happy with anything.

Monday we broke out the mesh feeders and tried more banana.  And he loved it!  Yesterday he tried steamed carrots in the mesh feeder - and these were by far his favorite food yet.  Today Nanny M gave him baby oatmeal, and as long as she let him feed himself (VERY messy!) he was happy and ate it all up!  It turns out my boy wants to feed himself.  It seems like he's too young to be this opinionated, but I guess he's not!

I've just downloaded a book about baby led weaning - the feeding philosophy that centers around not giving babies purees at all, instead giving them bite sized pieces of solid food from the very beginning.  I'm hoping Finn will do some purees, just because there are so many fun things we can make, but it looks like I'm going to have to learn how to safely let him feed himself without always relying on the mesh feeder.

I'm really glad I decided not to spend $150 on one of those fancy baby food makers.  And I guess it's time I invest in a splat mat for my dining room floor.

Weekend Getaway

Friday night, Finn and I packed up and headed out to the mountains for the weekend.  I seriously had more things packed for two days away than I took with me for a two week trip to Africa a few years ago. I used to be so proud of what a light packer I could be when I needed to...oh, how times have changed!

It was dark by the time I got to the cabin that my sister had rented and the house was full with J and her boys, our parents and our favorite aunt and uncle.  Finn had slept the whole drive there, so he was happy to be loved on by the relatives, and even seemed to enjoy the noise from the two older boys.  It was all pretty overwhelming though, and when our parents and aunt and uncle left to go back to their rental, we were all ready for bed.

The rest of the weekend, spent with a 4 year old and an 18 month old, made me realize that even though I thought I was prepared to raise a boy, it's going to be more challenging and more fun than I ever imagined!  Finn and his cousins woke up about the same time both mornings, and I could hear J giggling in her bedroom with her boys as I cuddled with mine.  And then D (the 4 year old) was especially challenging the rest of the morning and had my sister so frazzled by the time we got to breakfast that D actually asked her, "Mommy, do you ever wish you didn't have children?"  The extremes of parenthood, all in a few short hours.

Me with Finn and Ollie

J and the boys

Yesterday was a beautiful day in the mountains, and J, D, Finn and Dad decided to go up to Chimney Rock while Mom stayed at our cabin with Ollie, the 18 month old.  We drove up to the entrance and the cheery girl at the booth said, "The elevator is currently down for servicing, so the only way to access the Rock is by walking.  Is that ok?"  Of course we said yes...then wondered if we were going to be able to make it.

D impressed us all by all but sprinting up the 400 steps that lead up to Chimney Rock.  And I surprised myself by being able to make it, too, even with 20 pounds of baby strapped on to me.  I was pretty winded, but at each break it didn't take me too long to catch my breath, which makes me hope that once I really start back to running it won't take me long to get back to being able to do 3-5 miles.

D and J on Chimney Rock

It was such a beautiful weekend, and so much fun to see the cousins interacting - Finn is fascinated by everything the two older boys do, and the boys enjoyed making Finn laugh.  I'm so glad my sister lives so close that we get to see each other often, but I think we're going to have to make a habit out of little weekend trips, too.

The Cousins

11/11/11

 

Holy Moly!

It's 11:11 on 11/11/11!  

For the entire year before I had Finn, I somehow managed to catch the time at 11:11 most mornings and almost every night.  And every time I did, I remembered to make my 11:11 wish.  Now it's 11:11 on 11/11/11, which means the wishes made today must be extra powerful.  So I'm saying a wish for myself, as well as for all of you reading - wishing for healthy, happy babies for all of us.  

(I'm pretty sure this is a wish come true.)

Time for Solids

I'm not sure how long it's going to last, but my life feels like it's changed dramatically since the time changed just two days ago.  Until yesterday, my evening routine was playing with Finn until it was obvious he was tired, and then struggling to get him to go to sleep until he finally drifted off around 9-9:30.  The rest of the evening was spent trying to get work done in between freezing milk and cleaning up.  That usually didn't leave much time for healthy eating, or blogging or for anything fun, since I didn't usually finish paperwork until after 11.

But in the two days since the time change, Finn has fallen asleep (easily!) at 7:30 pm. I'm not sure what's so different - why it is that he falls asleep so easily the past two days - but it's wonderful.  We cuddle, he falls asleep and I put him down and can come downstairs and get work done.  I hate giving up the time with him that we had before...but I'm also loving the extra time.  And feeling a little guilty for enjoying it so much.

But the big news this week is that Finn started solid food this week!  Nanny M stayed a little late to help, and to video the whole thing.  The rice cereal wasn't much of a hit - but after a few tries, it seems to be growing on him.  I have a whole post about baby food to come, but tonight I'm going to take advantage of my free time and read some blogs.