Time to Get Healthy

For the past 5+ years I've been preparing to get pregnant, actively trying to get pregnant, pregnant or nursing.  Come to think of it, my initial consult with my RE was 6 years ago next month. So almost 6 years.  In all likelihood, in one week I will stop nursing Zachary, and that part of my life will be closed.  I'll no longer worry how the food and drink I'm consuming are affecting my egg quality/growing fetus/nursing baby.  I'll no longer have to stop and question every supplement, medication or vitamin that I take.  I'll no longer have TTC, pregnancy and nursing to blame for my expanded waistline - and since Zachary is over a year old, I can't even really use the "I just had a baby excuse."

I've been trying to watch my diet for the past month or so, and I've added in some exercise, and managed to lose 10 pounds (which is the most I've ever lost in that amount of time, ever.  I really was eating pretty horribly).  But I've been stuck at 10 pounds, and I'm forced to admit that as much as I really want to lose weight, I'm not feeling as motivated as I did when I first started.  And then there's the Easter Candy.  I really have no self control around malted milk eggs and Peeps.

I've also come to realize what a huge role sleep plays in my overall sense of well being.  I had several months of really good sleep after night-weaning Zachary, but the past 2-3 weeks have been all out of kilter, with illnesses, teething and work stress.  I'm probably not as tired as I was 4 months ago, but I'm close.  And so I've been more short-tempered with the boys, less motivated at work and hungrier for junk food.  I know my lack of sleep is directly sabotaging my efforts to lose weight.

But here's the thing.  I want to lose weight so I can feel better about how I look, that's true.  But what's really most important is that I need to lose weight so I can be healthier.  I need to exercise so I can be healthier.  I need to eat more nutritious foods so I can be healthier. Because it's not just me anymore. I have two young sons, and I'm 43 years old.  I had gestational diabetes.  I have a family history of heart disease.  And I'm now seeing women my age who are very sick with chronic medical problems they brought upon themselves by not taking care of their bodies. And I realize that they could be me.  I could be them.

I owe it to my kids to be as healthy as I can.  When Finn is my age, I'll be 83.  I want to be alive then and in reasonably good health, able to enjoy my grandkids and not be a burden to my children.  Of course, there's nothing I can do to guarantee that, but there's definitely a lot I can do (or not do) to make it unlikely.

So perhaps it's time for me to start focusing on the truly important reasons why I need to healthy, and why I need to exercise regularly, and why I need to cut down on my sweets (not cut them out, just cut them down!)  Looking better in my clothes will be a nice side benefit, but somehow I think it'll be easier to do the right thing when I focus on my future with my boys instead of my waistline.

I'm holding myself accountable and pledging to check in here next month, before Finn's birthday, and report on how successful I've been.  I think I'll base my success on how many days I reach my health goals (2 servings of fruit a day and 3+ servings of vegetables), how many days of the week I exercised or met my steps goal, and lastly by how much weight I lose.

First step - go to bed early tonight, right after I make my lunch for tomorrow!