As I was driving to work today (sitting in traffic and trying to make the best of it by singing along to Dave Matthews for the first time in a really long time), it occurred to me that I am finally past my least favorite time of childhood. Infancy is just about over, and it's such a relief. Zachary is really getting to be so fun as he interacts more and more with the world around him. My body still isn't my own, as breast feeding is still going strong, and I've noticed my skin and hair are both starting to get that dull look I had after nursing Finn for almost a year. I'm tired of my huge boobs and having to worry about drinking wine or caffeine or taking the wrong medication when I'm sick. And Zachary isn't a comfortable nurser - he doesn't bite or nibble, but he fidgets constantly. Pulls at my hair, my shirt, my necklace, my mouth, the sheets, the pillow, whatever he can get his hands on. So when he nurses in the night, I can't go back to sleep until he's done.
But I'm still not ready to give it up until he is. I remember how depressed I felt those first weeks after Finn was weaned, and I'm really not ready for that. While I'm happy to be leaving the infancy phase, I will miss parts of it. It makes me just a little sad that I won't likely be coming back to this stage again as I'm not likely to have more kids. So physically I'm ready, but emotionally I'm not there yet. It is easier than it was. I stopped pumping after Christmas vacation, so I don't have to deal with that hassle now. Luckily, I have at least a couple of months of frozen milk on hand, so I'll be able to avoid needing to buy formula. So now we're just nursing at night. I wonder how long I'll last.
 |
| 12/30/14: he did this to his shirt himself |
 |
| 12/31/14: probably a little too big for the swing but he loves it |
 |
| 1/1/15: his favorite bathroom toy |
 |
| 1/2/15: I love his face when taking some meds for his teething pain |
 |
| 1/3/15: playing with Finn - while sitting in a box |
 |
| 1/4/15: being cute |
 |
| 1/5/15: standing on his own! |
 |
| 1/6/15: I figured out how to turn on the water! |
Posts
What a handsome little devil! I'm at about the same point - stopped pumping, thinking about weaning, fed up with the fidgeting during nursing! It is an odd feeling to know you've had your last child and that child will never be a baby again.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard when facing the end milestones, even when there's a sense of relief with them too. Great photos! I have dozens of photos of Elena in various boxes, even now she'll try to get into whichever one she finds!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog posts because they're like a sneak peek for me. I believe we're 3 months behind you. We just entered the crawling phase, but I wouldn't be surprised if he stands and walks as early as Little Miss. Ours is behind on the solid food, but he wasn't ready.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like ours is a similar nurser, but I only signed up for 6 months. My kids are combat eaters, and I got stressed and not relaxed so they fought more and my milk only kept them full for minutes at a time which didn't work because they didn't gain weight. So, we supplemented until they were big enough for vaccinations. The hitting and kicking and pulling was out of control. The boy was a little better at actually eating than she was though.
I'm with you on the infant stage. Nothing I love more than the 2-5 years.
I loved the baby/infant stage and when I see a baby, that's what pulls at my heartstrings and makes me want another. Thank goodness I have blogs to follow to live vicariously through other people. Plus, looking at pics of your two boys playing together really makes me want another one! Ugh!
ReplyDeleteBaby is 22 months old and shows no sign of giving up night nursing: "Hi, Mama! Milk!" Heaven help me. But I'm not ready emotionally either.
ReplyDeleteWow he is so handsome. I love the phase he is entering into now. So much to explore. I too said I would breastfeed until BB wanted to stop. He's 3 1/2 now and no sign of stopping!
ReplyDeleteThat last picture makes me want to switch off the hot water spigot to your tub so he doesn't burn his fingers when you're not looking.
ReplyDeleteThat impish face!!! Oh I well remember my conflicted feelings on ending breastfeeding. And I remember the relief when my kids made it to a year--the baby stage is over!!
ReplyDeleteTake the weaning slow slow slow - I started the process and stopped so many times, that when it finally happened there was hardly any problems with hormones - I just started to put on weight. Now I am in a new wardrobe! Gorgeous photos!
ReplyDeleteHe is growing so fast, and is too cute! Look at him standing on his own like a big boy!!!
ReplyDeleteI get it. It's really bittersweet watching your last born leave infancy. Sad because we waited and wished for so long to have babies yet quite a relief for us full time, work-outside -the-home SMCs.
ReplyDeleteHe is just too cute! I can't believe he's standing!
ReplyDelete