On Our Own

Finn is out on an excursion with Nanny M, Zachary is asleep in his swing, my latest version of crock-pot Mexican chicken is cooking (will blog about it when it's finally how I want it), Dave Matthews is playing, and I'm sitting alone in the living room, texting Jennie (she left yesterday).

It sounds lovely, and in some ways it is, but it's also reminding me even more of how little leave I have left.  My to-do list has become a list of things to do before going back to work, which is depressing.  I've also been hit with a mild case of postpartum blues.  I thought they might be coming, and was doing a pretty good job of ignoring them, but then being sad about Jennie leaving and the end of maternity leave has made it impossible to ignore.  It was actually much worse with Finn, but I think that's because I was alone more and because he cried half the night.  I may have even felt worse when I was weaning Finn, come to think of it...at any rate, I'm feeling a little bit blue, but I'm hopeful it will pass quickly.  If I can get myself moving more with walking and yoga, it should.  And maybe less sugar intake.  (Not quite ready to give up the sugar, though I did stop buying poptarts last week. Small victories.)

It's going to be a challenge, finding our new routine now that it's just me and the boys (well, and Nanny M, who is going to be coming half days for the rest of my leave). As I mentioned before, I could have managed without all the extra help, but I am so thankful I was able to enjoy the past few months some, instead of just survive.  It's only been the past few weeks that I'm feeling physically recovered from delivery; I can't imagine doing all this on my own while feeling so bad, especially with the added stress of settling into a new home.  And as an added bonus, Finn was able to bond with Heidi and Jennie, and now regularly includes them in conversation (along with several other friends who came for weekend visits recently) and will remember them for future visits. This makes me incredibly happy.

In other news, last week Zachary had another ultrasound to follow up on those calcified areas in the liver that we followed while I was pregnant.  They haven't changed since his ultrasound when he was born, but to be on the safe side he's still going to see a GI doctor. It's probably overkill, but I'm ok with an overabundance of caution.

This past week's pictures - still more sleeping, but at least the venue has changed for a few of them!

4/2/14: getting his ultrasound (this was before he woke up and realized what was going on)

4/3/14: a visit to the aquarium 

4/4/14: snuggle time with Aunt Jennie - note the bib and burp cloth. This kid is a champion spitter-upper

4/5/14: Tummy time with big brother

4/6/14: sleeping baby

4/7/14: two month check up - 15lb15oz and 24.5inches of chunky love

4/8/14: Mommy's two monsters